What did the boy reading a book do? He finished the book and took it back to library.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

So a man walks into a bar and gets drunk.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: Why did James cry? A: Because he's an infant and still quite afraid of his surroundings

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: What did blue say to red? A: Let's make some purple

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Blonde: Where's the ice? Asian: In the freezer.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

We could have had it all Rolling in the deep You have my heart inside of your hand As you've just now inexplicably ripped it out of my ribcage.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why do black people like Black Friday? They can get fairly expensive appliances for a very reasonable price.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Who is that? That is my daughter, She likes climbing trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How dou you find the population of mexico? Take a census....... By throwing a dime in the street!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A. why'd the chicken cross the road? B.a dog got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you call a pig that just took a bath? Clean!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why does the kid cries when he sees me? Cuz i took his lollypop last week.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

I'm currently on a seafood diet That is, I only eat seafood.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Like is like a penis long and easy. But women make it hard

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why was the black man picking cotton from the backyard? Because he enjoys gardening as a hobby, and prefers to do it every Sunday, after work.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

The scientists of Cambridge have finally developed a cure for feeling low! They have presented it in the style of a song. See if you can spot the hidden frequency wavelengths when you sing it out lout. They are what make you feel better. You've got to LOVE the world! Be a friend! And when You're down you've got to get up again! And when your blue, here's what you do. Just sing this happy tune! However if that fails, then you should consider getting professional help.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What looks good hanging from trees? Spanish moss.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Executioner: Would you like to make a statement? Mr Murderer: Yes, I would love to sing a song. Executioner: Very well. Begin. Mr Murderer: There were 6 billion in the bed, and the little one said roll over, roll over. So they all rolled over and one fell out...

thumb_up thumb_down +19

There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Harry to Voldemort: Your mother is so fat, her patronus is a cake!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

There once was a man named bulagala moo moo boom chicka boom. Sometimes, when wipe the toilet tissue breaks and my fingers get all dirty. Good thing I have insurance!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Who looks like Justin bieber, and is really cool? Justin Bieber, but I lied about him being cool.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the horse say moo? Because it's a cow

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops