Q. What do you call a retarted guy? A. Whatever his name happens to be

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I HATE GEORGE LOPEZ

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What did the chicken say when it layed the square egg? Ouch.

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him and got better.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? That depends on a variety of factors.

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Knock-Knock Who's there? The The Who? The Beatles!

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I have a dead body, What do I do.

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Why was the chinese man kicked out of the bar? Because he was under aged

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why did I fall off a tree? cause i wanna to

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Why is it scientifically proven that even Spider-Man would be a match for Superman? Because none exist. Moral: The only Super Hero... not scientifically proven, but I exist so that makes me stronger than both of them!

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What do you call a Mexican in the sand? A churro! (not trying to be racist, I'm even Mexican)

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In Soviet Russia, it is usually cold throughout the year, as it is located in a colder region of the planet.

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A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith.

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Don't believe in Atheists.

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What do you do when you come across a dead baby? Add it to your collection.

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How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb none, because chickens do not have opposable thumbs,therefore prevents them from preforming such a remedial task.

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Why did the blond have a wierd look on her face? Because she was ugly

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Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road? To End His Suffering On The Farm. Suicidal Mission.... Complete

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Guy 1: So how did you get into hospital Guy 2: I was drinking near my computer Guy 1: So why did it explode? Guy 2: (Doesn't reply)

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Why do dinosaurs have no friends? Because they are all dead

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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What's blue and looks like water? Yes.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Your one and only! Step away from the door, Francheska. You're violating the restraining order.

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What's the difference between acne and Michael Jackson? One is a an unsightly blemish that appears on your skin and the other is a dead pop singer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops