I got 99 problems and they're all related to long history of drug abuse

Why did Hitler kill six million Jews? Why not?

Q: How pregnancy test is performed in Somalia?! A: Shove a piece of bread between the legs of the women and if the bread is bitten when you take it out, she is pregnant!

taking out the trash... at night

Knock knock. Who's there? Jim. Oh, come in Jim!

A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are about to be executed by a firing squad. Before they shoot the brunette, they ask if she was any last words. “Look, a tornado!” Then they shoot her.

what did the apple say to the orange, nothing fruits can't talk

Who is John Galt?

What did the fish say when he swam into a wall? ouch.

Why Is Billy So Dumb? He Didin't Pass School

What's wore then finding a worm in your apple? Being the only person to survive a plane crash over Alaska, then having to eat your family in order to stay alive waiting for help to come.

PATIENT: Doctor, doctor, I can't see my legs DOCTOR: That's because you're blind

what is the difference between a black man and a white man? Their skin color.

What happens when you mix breed a cat and a human?? .. you get arrested and get raped by your fellow prisoners DONT do it!

why don't bears wear shoes? because they have bear feet

Q: Why did the Asian fail his driving test? A: Lack of concentration on the road and low knowledge of functioning a car.

A man walks into a bar, politely orders one drink, sips it while having social conversations with his peers, pays his tab, and goes to take the bus home. I can respect that.

Engage in a lively debate with a friend, and when they are about to stump you, respond to whatever they say next with "What does that have to do with the price of tea in China?"

why did the girl ask for food? because she was hungry and hadnt eaten in days.

Why was the little boy afraid of the dentist because he was a pedophile

-Knock knok who's there? -Orange Orange who? -Orange you glad im an orange? ...I believe you have confused the noun "Orange" with the conjunction "aren't".

Why did the boy cry after baseball practice? He was molested by his coach.

What is funnier than 24? If you think numbers are funny then you could have a mental illness and that isn't quite funny.

When life gives you Live Aid, celebrate the fact that you've just gone back in time 27 years and somehow cheated death temporarily.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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