Roses are blue Violets are too I've got Alzheimer Roses are red

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

why did so many people die in the typhoon in the Philippines because they had to finish there math homework

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Knock Knock Whose there? Ben Dover Come in

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A white guy, a black guy, an asian guy, an indian sit together. Canada

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? I don't know, why don't you go ask him?

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Put chromosomes in advertising. Because you know, Sex Cells

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Yo momma's so black, when yo poppa rides her, he says "Look! I'm Hiccup!"

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How do you make an emo kid cry? He already is.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's a free drink, you'll wake up in my basement.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q: Why did the boy fall of the swing? A: He had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A kid walks into a bar, everyone fled the bar because they were all afraid of goats

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q: What do you call 10 babies at the bottom of the ocean? A: Dead

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Don't tease the fat kids. They have enough on their plates.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A black man goes outside to shoot some hoops. He misses all of them because not all blacks are good at basketball.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

But that just reinforces the negative stereotype that women don't have penises.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What is green, and could kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

You are in a sealed room with Joseph Stalin, Osama bin Laden, and Hitler and have a revolver with two bullets. Who do you shoot? None of them. You awkwardly set the gun down and wonder how to get out of this room filled with three corpses.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Showcasing you? Really? I am tired too, yeah its daytime here as well, sleep well then. Hey, by the way, when you where like posting a lot of weird comments, where you trying to impress me?

thumb_up thumb_down +25

An old man walks into a bar. He drinks 3 beers and dies. The bartender calls paramedics but when the police came they arrested the bartender for beating his wife. A few hours later an earthquake destroys the bar and everyone was evacuated and many were injured. The manager was driving to the scene but has a car accident with the ambulance. It was such a bad day.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A black man walks into a bar and a white man says "we don't allow coloured men in here". the black man sighs and walks out, wondering what he ever did wrong, and makes his way to the liqour store, to buy some beer to drown his sorrows over his mothers death. On the way, a racist white man shoots and kills him. Then, at his funeral, someone makes the joke "Wow, how ironic. The black guy was the victim.."

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did Marsha say when she ate the apple pie? Nothing. It would be rude for her to talk with her mouth full.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops