What is green and drives around in the desert and is not a tank? secretly a tank

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

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Roses are red Violets are blue I was diagnosed as criminally insane Wanna be my friend?

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I may have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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What's grey and doesn't climb trees? A car park.

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There are two muffins in an oven. Since they are inanimate objects, they do nothing but sit there and bake until they are a golden brown color, at which point a man takes them out of the oven and eats them for breakfast.

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A: What does MC Hammer like? B: Big Butts. A: Can he lie? B: No.

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What did Yoda say to Darth Vader? The only time the two had talked Darth Vader was still Anakin therefor, he said nothing.

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I once shot an elephant in my pajamas. I suffer from a debilitating sleep disorder.

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So a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. They order some wine and have an enjoyable evening.

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Q: Where's the cheese? Who ate the cheese? A: How do you know it's been eaten because it's gone? Are you making the assumption that food that has disappeared was eaten because that is usually how food disappears? I am filing a lawsuit against you for your malevolent foodism.

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So a girl says "I want to be a banana when I grow up". She's set unrealistic goals and her parents fear she may be autistic.

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a gay man walks into a bar. he is promptly escorted out for trying to seduce men.

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How do you make an idiot in suspense?

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what's an advantage of breaking every bone in your body? nothing, you're screwed.

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Why did the 60 y/o man take erectile dysfunction pills? His doctor prescribed them.

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What is a pirate's favorite movie? A pirated movie.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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Q: What did little Jimmy get his grandfather for Christmas? A: Nothing his grandfather died on Thanksgiving

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Something other than a Human Being walks into a bar. The bartender then makes a rational decision about how to handle the situation.

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Why shouldn't you tell a joke during an earthquake. Cause it is not the time nor the place to tell a joke

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Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Green paint.

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Why did the wolf cry boy? Cause he was a pedifile.

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What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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