how long is a chinese name. how long. yup.

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What do you call a black person that flies a plane? A pilot you racist BITCH! Its ok a niggah gots altititude.

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Doctor: I regret to tell you that you have multi-personality disorder. Patient: Which one of us?

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To mama's so fat when she went to Dairy Queen she Ordered a blizzard.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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What's big and green and I gets stuck in your teeth will kill you? A tractor

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mmm i love marble bumhole

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What did the man with cancer get for his birthday? A gravestone.

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Q. What is ginger and ginger? A. a ginger

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Do they censor Ass? TESTING TESTING ASS ASS ASS

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he found out the oreo he slept with last night had aids and he wanted to make sure he didnt get the deadly disease so he went to the doctor to get tested.

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a jew, a muslim and a christian all walk into a bar; because of the difference in religion im afraid such an event is unlikely to occur in the future.

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Knock,knock Who's there? Apple Apple who? Knock,knock Who's there? Apple Apple who? Knock, knock Who's there? Lemon Lemon who? Lemon know if you want me to say apple again

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jess always squints her eyes when making a point

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why are the Harold and Kumar movies really funny? the man who wrote obvieusly has a good sense of humor.

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Whats better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded

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Knock Knock? Why did you just say knock knock just ring the doorbell

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? "because he had nobody to go with" No because it was dead.

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Q:How do you kill Chuck Norris ? A:You don't , He kills you first.

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whats worse then being married to your dog eating your dog out

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, My family is dead

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What did the little boy say before he succumbed to cancer? Nothing. It was too painful.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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