a termite walks into a bar and asks, "wheres the bar tender?"

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I'm Stephen Hawking, and I'm a PC.

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why did the chicken stop in the middle of crossing the road? to get to the other side

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What's up? Your time.

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Have you heard about the constipated mathematician? He worked his problems out with a pencil... It was a #2 pencil

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Whats the difference between a duck? Both legs are of the same length. Especially the left one.

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everyone lies especially if they said agree to terms of service

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I named my cat Pounce because she jumps. In retrospect I suppose most cats do jump, in fact, they are even known for it.

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Remember that part where Jesus gets angry at a fig three and kills it because it "was lazy" for refusing to grow figs at winter? Brother Jeez, that was kinda mean man! You know it was winter rite? Anti Joke or not, that part is funny, so if Jesus returns and wants you to make him a sammich you better go get that goddamn sammich!

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What did the kid with cancer get for his birthday? Nothing he didnt make it that far

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Your mom is so old, that when somebody told her to act her age, she died.

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What did the nun eat for breakfast? Baseballs.

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why was the black kid made fun of at school? Because he was a nerdy boy who drinks tea

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whats worse then being married to your dog eating your dog out

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A Jew walks into a bar. It's a bar full of Neo-Nazis.

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Q - Why did the baby spit out his dummy? A - Because i stabbed him.

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Why does a squirel swim on his back? Because it was trying to keep his nuts clean

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What's worst then leaving a public toilet when you just took a shit and the toilet is now clogged Realising that the maid was waiting for you to get out to clean the toilet...

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Say, "I have a really nice knock knock joke, but you have to start." To someone. They say knock knock You say who's there! and walk away.

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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DEAD ON KANE ITS BEEN ALL YOU ABD CAOIMHIN

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will you like this joke my sources say no

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What did the arsonist shout out in the movie theater? Nothing. He set the exits ablaze and said absolutely nothing.

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A dimetrodon, a pterosaur and a chicken walk into a bar. As they enter, the bartender says "Hold it! We are not licensed to serve dinosaurs." "I am not a dinosaur," said the dimetrodon. "Neither am I," said the pterosaur. "But I am," said the chicken. So the dimetrodon and the pterosaur enjoyed a cold beer each, but the chicken had to wait outside.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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