mary poppins' handbag is full of fuckin dick

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To suck my dick

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van

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Why was 7 afraid of 8? Because 8 knifed 10.

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a whiskey sour and a mop.

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The girl was really drunk and passed out. She woke up the next day with a hangover.

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what's black and white and red all over? nothing... it's red

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Happy Monday!

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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Your mama's so fat that when she farted, gas came out!

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I pushed my friend off the bed after losing to him in FIFA 2011. He died.

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Q) How many boring people does it take to screw in a light bulb? A) One

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How do you piss of camon? Have sex with shelby!

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A man approaches an attractive young woman at a party. He asks her if a rag smells like chloroform and proceeds to hold the rag up to her face. She passes out, the man takes her into a nearby bedroom and rapes her. He casually leaves the party. He will most likely continue this vile act for years to come.

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Why did the plane crash? Because he pilot was a loaf of bread

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Why didn't the black man go to work? He had to attend his sister's funeral, who just recently passed away after her long hard battle with breast cancer.

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How many jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. It really isn't that hard.

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if you're jesus and you know it, clap your hands

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You know those people that learned the true name of God, as God asked kindly... ...Well you know God can be nice sometimes but he actually COMMANDED they keep his name secret forever? They became the first people known as Jehova`s witnesses... JEHOVAH<<< SECRET NAME ANYBODY? So much for keeping his secret name guys! They claim that only a few thousand humans will ascend to heaven, in other words all of the JEHOVA`s witnesses... All two billions of them or something... For keeping his name (Cough JEHOVAH) secret. SUCCESS!

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An Octopus walked into a bar. He then died as he had been out of his natural habitat for an exceedingly long period of time. An octopus can only survive on land for 30 minutes.

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Your mom is so dumb that she had a below average score on her IQ test.

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I was watching Fox news.

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A lawyer walks into a bar, and due to the repercussions of severe head trauma was never able to do so again.

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Your mom is so old, that when somebody told her to act her age, she died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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