Why do the man leave his tv on? He was murdered while he was watching tv

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Have you heard the one about the blonde and the bear? No. Me neither.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A man walks into the bar and asks the bartender, "Are you smelling me right now?"

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Whats worse than a dumpster full of dead babies? A landfill full of dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's black and white and red all over? A penguin that just got shot

thumb_up thumb_down +23

An Jewish man worked at a bank, and ate chicken noodles for lunch and then stabbed and man playing the saxophone.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Pianos.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: seven raped six's mom

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

so a salesman knocks on a mans' door and asks if he would like to hear a salespitch but the man didn't answer he came back two minutes later and knocked and asked if the man would be intrested in some girl scout cookies and the man tore the door off the hinges.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Whats worse than failing an English test? finding out your now exgirlfriend has aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

I want to name my dog Syndrome. Then, when I teach him to sit, I can say "Down, Syndrome!"

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They finally get to Florida and they see a sign that says "Disneyworld: left" so they take the left and get hit by a semi and all die.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor ? A: The holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +21

You're such a baby, that you are still in diapers! Ew! How would you know creep!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A guy walks into a bar. He meets a girl and they have a great time. He calls her the next day and their relationship continues for many months. Eventually they get married and have children.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: If your 17 year-old-daughter is a drug addict, how many cartwheels are you going to have to do to make it to Georgia? A: The French Revolution, because your grandmothers facebook shows an 11 year-old selling Concords to a green alien, which can only mean that over 600 people watch pórn daily.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A black man, a jew and a muslim walk into a bar. ... I forgot what happens next, so let's just say they have a good time and get back home safely.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

The Blonde Gets 100 % On Her Math Test

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Once upon a time in a far away kingdom, people lived in it. The End.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: What did the dog say the cat? A: nothing, because dogs cannot speak, and even if they could, I highly doubt they would speak cat.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's the difference between girl scouts and boy scouts? Girl scouts are usually females and boy scouts are usually males.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

An epileptic man attends a rave.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops