Sir, your wife is dead

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nobody move! I've dropped my brain.

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Q. Why did the dinosaur cross the road? A. Because chickens hadn't evolved yet.

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How do you make a hobo cry? You steal his trash.

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Q: A giraffe fell in a hole and died. Which was taller the Lion or Giraffe? A: The Giraffe was before it died

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What did Hitler say to Mussolini? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The Pterodactyl species became extinct 65 million years ago, and thus if you saw one today, you would be immediately taken into a mental hospital.

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united we sit, cause we're fat

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Did you hear about the man hear about the man who lost an arm and a leg in a car accident? He's alright now.

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The duck didn't cross the road.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Slowly being tortured to death.

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I have read and agreed to the terms of service

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Why did the girl drop out of school? She was being sexually assaulted by her mothers alcoholic boyfriend and was having trouble coping.

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. Steven Hawking is disabled from the neck down. I lied.

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What's worse then a bad hair day? Hattie.

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"To tea to to to" -- russian tourist, asking for two tea to room 22. (DOKA)

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his access to goods and services and his future options from birth.

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Q. What you call a Guy with no arms an no legs in the water? A. Bob

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Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road? To End His Suffering On The Farm. Suicidal Mission.... Complete

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How does an electrician install an outlet? I don't know. I'm not an electrician.t

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Why did they use the phone as a football? Because it was a phone-ball.

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Roses are red... Violets are blue... I have Alzheimers... CHEESE ON TOAST

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How many new born babies does it take to cover the wall? Depends on how hard you throw'em

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops