What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple

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What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

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Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot, you racist.

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Why were the parents sad? Because their son had a frog stapled to his face and was trying to eat his ice cream on a swing, but he had no arms so he dropped his ice cream into the street and he chased after his ice cream and got hit by a bus

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Why did the man run away from the cat? He was allergic

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What's the safest way to tell a racist joke? Ask everybody who might hear the joke if they would be offended by a racist joke.

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Who is the most famous black person? Michael Jackson, except he's not black.

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Hey Shea

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

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What's yellow and cant walk? The Sun

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What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot.

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When is a door not a door? When your house burns down.

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When life gives you cancer, make cancer-aids.

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Ok good, just checking. It would be a shame for your perishable foodstuffs to go bad.

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A: Did you know Helen Keller had a treehouse? B: No. A: Neither did she.

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What's worst than a worm in your apple? Finding your mom in a porno.

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How do you get a Jew to jump off a cliff? You kidnap his family and threaten to kill them if he doesn’t.

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“DTF”? Says Will. “No” says Harper.

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Charles missed the stop sign. Charles can't read.

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One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde got angry and called the cops, who proceeded to come and arrest him.

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The power of Mindfuck: What if you can only walk left when you are right? And if you can walk right when you are the only one left? What is left when everything is right? Moral: Create a right world by taking the left road? YOU PIECE OF FILTH!

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Why did the Muslim man burn the American flag? The flag had touched the ground, which, by tradition, means it has to be disposed. And the proper way of disposing it is by burning.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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