A duck walks into a bar, clearly ignoring the 'No Ducks Allowed' sign that had been placed in the window to prevent comedic scenarios.

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Why did Johnny fall off of the swing? The swing was defective. Knock, knock. Who's there? Johnny's lawyer.

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Why did the little boy fall off his bike? His mother threw a washing machine at him.

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why dont you hit a black kid on a bike? its probably your bike.

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A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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what do you call a dog with no legs? whatever his owner named him it is a shame he can`t run and play with other dogs.

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Whats brown and rhyme's with "Snoop?" Dr. Dre

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If you share rice between 30 Africans what do they each have? Aids.

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What did silly Billy with no arms get for Christmas ? Gloves.. why did silly billy fall off the swing? He got hit by a microwave.. Why did silly sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.. Knock Knock Whos there? Not sally..

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What did the deaf boy get for Christmas? Something like udgtationdaidnmgf

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A man told another,"You suck." The insulted man finished the sentence,"On juice boxes."

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What's the meaning of life? I forgot to write it down.

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What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

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what did the chicken say to the other chicken? nothing, they dont talk.

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lybia

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Y did the boy fall down the stairs???? He was In a wheel chair

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When the world ends what would be the death toll It would be unknown since every one would be around to calculate it

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What's the difference between a Obama and a drug-dealer? I don't know what? I don't know, I was asking if you know...

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Knock, knock Who's there? The electrician And about bloody time too, you'd better come in.

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Why did the boy have glass in his mouth? Because he was chewing on glass.

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Q: How do you make a black man think you're racist? A: Racism

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You're rowing a canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a dog house? None because icecream doesn't have bones.

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What did the indian boy say to his friend? He didn't he was too busy studying

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Let's say you're inside a building and you are lost. You need to find directions to get out. But the building is so big almost like a maze or labyrinth. You start walking until you see 2 doors and each door is guarded by a man. Now in between the 2 doors is a message on the wall. It says: "Dear friend, I assume that you are lost and want to get out. There is hope! You have an option to choose one of these doors guarded by these men. You may ask one of these men which door leads to freedom. However, 1 guard ALWAYS tells a lie and 1 guard ALWAYS tells the truth. If you are to choose the wrong door, you will be locked in the building forever. So choose wisely and ask the right question. Good luck! Sincerely, the owner of the building." So you think to yourself and try to figure out what the hell did you get yourself into. This is a very tricking situation. You have one liar and one honest man. How can you tell which is lying and with is telling the truth? After minutes of confusion and thinking, you have finally decided to ask one guard a question. ----spoiler alert----- So you ask the guard one question. "What would the other guard say is the door to freedom?" The guard said "This door" You choose the opposite door and you are now free. The End [Explanation: You have 2 doors. Let's say door A is losing and door B is winning. If you ask the liar what would the other guard say, he we lie and say door A. So you pick the opposite door, which door B and you win. Now if you ask the truth teller what would the other guard say, he we tell the truth and say the same answer, door A. So you pick the opposite door and win]

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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