Yo mama is so fat, she just had a heart-attack.

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Q: How many jews can you fit in a car? A: Well, it varies on the size of the car and the size of the people entering the car so in reality there is no clear answer due to the lack of information given.

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what did the chickpea say to the raison when he got called big but? Atleast i dont have a stick up my but.

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What do you call a black man playing a bass guitar? A bassist.

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why did the child fail to make his bed? because he has downs syndrome and he is incapable of participating in everyday activities.

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I'm a burrito... With a big shirt.

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How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? you open the door and guide him inside

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow.

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A man goes to the store to buy a kitten. While there, he decides to buy two because he is feeling particularly hungry.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Sandwich.

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Why was the chair spinning Cause it wants to

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HELP!!! I locked myself in my bathroom and can't get out! my laptop is running out of batteries!

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A depressed horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "Millions of years of natural selection." The horse then tries to drink away his sorrows, but the alcohol is only a temporary release from the pain he's feeling. He kills himself the next day.

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What did the whale do when he was angry? He beached himself, causing a major ecological disaster and costing the beach community thousands of dollars to return him to the water.

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what happens if you drop a spoon? it sounds a lot, and it's annoying

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What happened to your face It got hit by a bus By cheyenne

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Why did the black man cross the road? To escape from his owner.

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Your mom is so old, that when somebody told her to act her age, she died.

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Hey! How do you do a four strand plait? With four strands.

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What characterizes a good joke? The lack of a punch line.

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A man walks into a bar. He asks for a beer. One of the bar tenders twlls him they are all out. He takes out his gun. He has 1 bullet and there are 3 bar tenders. He wants to kill them all. What does he do? A: Shoots 1 and pegs bricks at the other two.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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