what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

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what did the monitor say to the boy? Im a Monitor

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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A man and a midget walk into a bar each carrying a suitcase. They were stopping by after work.

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Whats the difference between a baby in a comma and an iPod? I actually use the baby.

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Roses are reds, Viloets are blue, Thank God I'm a christian, And not a jew.

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Roses are blue, Violets are purple, I like chicken. Do you like chicken?

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A black man and a white man are in a car. Which one is driving? A person who is legally allowed and physically capable of operating and automobile.

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What do you get when you mate a rhino with an elephant? Nothing. This mating cannot produce offspring.

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What kind of people have fat lips? People who have gotten punched in the lip or have suffered a serious lip injury that has caused their lips to swell up.

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Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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What's black and really really smelly? Martin Luther King Jr.'s grave.

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What do you call potato salad in Iceland? Edible. The fact that it happens to be in Iceland doesn't make a difference

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Ross.

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what's better than winning the special olympics? -not being retarded

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Whats more funny than 1 bomb on 8 babies? 8 bombs on 1 baby.

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What's red & is bad for your face? A brick.

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why did the firefighter let the fire burn... becuase of inattentivieness. he will soon be fired.

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Joker: You wanna know how I got these scars Me: The Bat... Joker: The Batman!

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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Why was the leaf green? Chlorophyll

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What word is always spelled wrongly? None of them. Every word has been spelled right at some point.

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How do you make a cripple cry Cut of his legs, THEN telll him a joke

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A family of five sit on a bench, the bench falls the family die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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