Emily Scarpello...Fat Couch

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Why did the bartender leave the bar? He worked really long hours and finally needed some time to sleep.

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whats worse than having ice cream and not eating it? Being lactose intolerant

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knock knock. who's there? doctor. doctor who? doctor: you have cancer.

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Situation: 2 cows eating grass on a warm Sunday night. Question: Why does 9+4=3 1/2? Answer: 69!

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A:why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side =D B:...i dont think you fully grasp the concept of an anti joke yet...smh -.-

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A family walks into a talent agency. Talen agent says "Okay, what's your act called?" Dad replies "The Aristocrats!"

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Why did the officer arrest the black man? Because he suspected him of littering. ...and because he was black.

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How do you make a baby stop crying for the rest of its life? Shoot it in the face.

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Whats the difference between a baby and a sandwhich... I dont rape my sandwhiches before i eat them

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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whats in a red suit with a white beard and jolly......st.nick jerking of and blowwing a load in your stocking while taking a shit on you coffee table before theen hanging it back up over the fire place

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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What do you call a cat with no ears? Anything you fucking well like. Cats can't understand speech.

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A grasshopper walks into a bar, the bartender says, "We have a drink named after you", the grasshopper replies, "you have a drink named Bob"

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Yo mama so dumb she got hit by a bus and didn't know! The funeral was touching and sad. Everyone cried. 2 weeks later..........Johnson ended his own life.......

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A mother and her child run into the store... The mother opens the door, so the child does not run into the store again.

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Why did the man have a really short temper? HOW THE **** SHOULD I KNOW???

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What's the difference between an apple and a banana? One's an apple.

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"Hey ask me if i'm fat" "Are you fat" "Leave me alone"

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Why doesn't Jonathan Walk across the road? Because he is in a wheelchair...

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Why did the farmer cross the road? To catch the chicken

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Roses are red I got a new phone But no one to text Forever alone

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A muslim gets on an airplane and takes his seat. The plane lands safely and he enjoys his vacation in Florida.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops