Why did the man cry himself to sleep at night? Because the doctors gave him 3 months to live.

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Why did the guy die. He OD on drugs

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What's the difference between a snake, and a lawyer? A snake cannot comprehend law, nor can one attend law school and set up an office. They are also different species.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, but if the ladder is shaky, you might need another to hold it up.

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What did the gay black man say after JFK was shot? Wow thats really sad but I have such an appetite right now so i should probably go to eat.

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What did the pirate say to the ninja? I have aids.

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there was a lesbian, a bi-sexual and a homosexual at a wine bar having a drink.......They had a great night

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A squirrel asks an apple where is the nearest gas station. The apple doesn't reply.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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why cant little timmy ski? he was born without legs.

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What's worse than being shot? Being shot twice.

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Why did Dr. Phil fall of the swing? He couldn't figure out the couples problem.

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If life throws you lemons, what do you do? Well unless life throws you water and sugar also, hen your lemonade is gonna taste horrible.

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A tortoise went for a run. It took him two hours to get around the corner.

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What goes in dry and comes out wet Gum

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what did michael jackson do when i swore at him? nothing he's dead

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Q: Why did the baby cry when it came out of the moms stomach? A: The doctor dropped it!

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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A Muslim man gets onto a transatlantic airliner. All the other passengers are privately nervous, but no one mentions it.

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Why did the black dude die? Because everyone must die at some point.

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Your momma's so fat: She feels uncomfortable in public due to current trends in ideal body shape and aesthetics of beauty.

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9/11

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What do you call a mexican who works at a landscaping business? A hard working man who is trying to provide money for his family

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She loves me, she dosn't love me, she loves me, the girl walks up to the man and says, she doesn't love me

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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