why cant little timmy ski? he was born without legs.

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If life throws you lemons, what do you do? Well unless life throws you water and sugar also, hen your lemonade is gonna taste horrible.

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Why did Dr. Phil fall of the swing? He couldn't figure out the couples problem.

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what did michael jackson do when i swore at him? nothing he's dead

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Q: Why did the baby cry when it came out of the moms stomach? A: The doctor dropped it!

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A tortoise went for a run. It took him two hours to get around the corner.

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What goes in dry and comes out wet Gum

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What do you call a prostitute with morals? Ironic.

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What do you call a mexican who works at a landscaping business? A hard working man who is trying to provide money for his family

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A Muslim man gets onto a transatlantic airliner. All the other passengers are privately nervous, but no one mentions it.

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2 bald men are standing on an oval, one turns to the other and says "leukemia."

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Why did the black dude die? Because everyone must die at some point.

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9/11

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What do you call a chicken that can't lay eggs? a rooster

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Your momma's so fat: She feels uncomfortable in public due to current trends in ideal body shape and aesthetics of beauty.

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What do you call a blind guy in a library? Kevin. Unless his name isn't Kevin.

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A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were driving on a highway. The redhead asked the brunette, who had the map, which was the next exit. The blonde was better with maps so she took it and announced where to go. They made the exit and enjoyed a nice lunch.

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How are baseball and basketball the same. They aren't football.

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She loves me, she dosn't love me, she loves me, the girl walks up to the man and says, she doesn't love me

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Why did the boy wear glasses? Because he had bad eyesight.

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Your momma is so ugly... Yeah, yeah, yeah my momma's ugly, but guess what, at least I'm not an orphan asshole.

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Poop

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead, ok!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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