A dog walks into a bar. The owner got a fake service dog identification and everyone really enjoyed it.

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6 in every 9 people find a dirty reference in every joke. This statistic is in fact false, as 5 in 9 people actually find a dirty reference.

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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why couldn't the boy talk? Because he was dead

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Dementia.

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Why are you gay? Because ***** you

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What do you call a cat in a piece of bred? An inbred cat.

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A frog and a toad eat a pie and then realize it is weird and then die.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Q: How do you make Kobie Bryant cry? A: Kill his family.

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Whats Pink and fluffy? Yellow fluff thats been dyed pink :D

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What's worse than 9/11? a dipped glass of milk

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Q: What do you call Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. A: two things: Their names, and a doctor because they are both in need of a nutritionist.

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What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

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Beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you have consumed.

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Haikus are simple but sometimes they don't make sense refrigerator.

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what did the person with yellow teeth and the person with white teeth have in common? they have a nose.

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Why did the man have sex with other men? Because he was homosexual.

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Hi, how are you doing? Good, yourself? Fine, thanks. Have a nice day. You too, bye.

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My life has been getting worse and worse since I developed cancer.

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What do you call a horse with bread on its ears? Boris, because that's his name.

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There was a papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. They were walking and baby tomato starts lagging behind. So the papa tomato stomps on the baby tomato and says nothing because tomatoes can't talk.

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What part of a vegetable are you not supposed to eat? His wheelchair.

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Why cant stevie wonder read? Because he is blind

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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