when there's trouble lurking in your neighbourhood, who you gonna call? The local authorities.

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What did God tell Moses to deliver to the Hebrews? Nothing, God doesn't exist.

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In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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How do you confuse a blonde? The same way you confuse a brunette or redhead, hair color has nothing to do with an individual's intelligence.

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Son: "Mommy That Boy Over There Beat Me Up" Mom: Good I Like When You Suffer

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Knock knock Whos there An axe murderer oh sweet come on in.... dinners on the stove and i am here all alone

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What do you call a girl with no arms and legs? Whatever her name is.

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what did joe eat for breakfast? he didn't eat, joe is schizophrenic steve's best friend

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what did the home less man get for chrismas? cancer.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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Yo Momma is SO FAT, THAT she has an increased risk of cardiac arrest due to her blood pressure.

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what do you get when you cross a baby and a car a baby shaped dent, and a dead baby

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Justin Bieber

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What do you call a penguin sliding down a hill how should i know.

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whats black, white, and red all over? your mum

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what happend when the magic man touched fire? He got burnt screamed in my ear and died.

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What's a lil plus a lot A little more then a lot

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It is not a sentient animal and is unaware of the dangers it will face.

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A frenchman, an englishman, and an italian walk into a bar. They proceed to drink their beer in silence, because they can't understand each other one bit.

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What's the difference between an apple and a fruit? None

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Whats worse than your roof caving in on you? Being stabbed by yard gnomes.

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a man offers an innocent little child some candy from his van upon arrival the child is raped and beaten suverily. -teagan doherty-

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Why was the boy crying in public with no clothes on? Because he had no clothes on in public.

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What is worse than finding dead parents? Not finding them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops