What do you call a man with bananas in his ears? A doctor. He is clearly mentally unstable, and probably in pain.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A middle aged woman walks into a bar. Its Friday and there is a breeze in the air. She leaves shortly thereafter.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was the blind man bored? - He was in a coma

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No. okay? Why did the chicken cross the road? why? because its motor skills allowed it to cross. dude, seriously? What did Jimmy's grandmother get him for Christmas? What?. Nothing she died two years ago. that's horrible. When did she die? On his birthday. Dude, stop! Wait how did she die? Fine, How? She was driving down the road and swerved to miss a chicken. oh. And what did she hit? UGGG What? Thankfully not me. because I wasn't the tree. :0 oooooooooooooh

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock, knock. Now before I asked "Who's there" I first opened the door as then I can see who's there without having to ask them through the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a quadriplegic man at a museum? "Sir," unless you happen to know his given name, in which case it would be most polite to call him that.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I saw 2 jews talking. I threw in a penny and watched them fight to the death. I did the same with 2 catholic preasts exept I threw in a baby boy

thumb_up thumb_down +14

That Rachael chick needs to get back in the kitchen

thumb_up thumb_down +14

“DTF”? Says Will. “No” says Harper.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do joe greene and joe biden have in common? Their first name

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did Kelly lose all interest in men? An aneurysm in her brain popped

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why do you stick a baby in a blender feet first? So you can see the expression on its face...

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A man walks into a bar owned by horses. The bartender says, "Why the short face?"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

“It doesn’t take a lot to turn me on” – William Deane

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why do people make fun of Laquesha? Because she's white.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender doesn't understand him because he doesn't speak duck and promptly calls animal control to have the duck removed.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the chicken say when it finally crossed the road? - nothing, its a chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Your mum is so ugly that i make jokes about how ugly she is

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what do u say when u meet somebody new hello

thumb_up thumb_down +14

The Below statement is an antijoke. The Above statement is a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the man dying of cancer want for his birthday? To live.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the golfer do on his vacation? He played golf.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q.what do you call a dead baby? A. a dead baby

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Whats worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops