A guy walked into a bar a hundred years ago and but a pint of whiskey. He is dead now.?

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So Colton Yepma walks in to Accounting and proceeds to read jokes

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How do you turn that frown upside down? You move many muscles in your face.

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You killed my brother and call me the antichrist? Its lovable: Jesus said on the cross, I shall return. Then he returned three days later to say goodbye to his people. Moral: What the **** are you Åsshats waiting for? The third coming? He died for their sins, not for yours... WELCOME TO HELL!

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An arab says allahu akbar, people respect him as he is pronouncing his religion in his place of worship

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Friends are like trees. They fall when hit multiple times with an axe.

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Watch brand new car videos at carvideos website

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why was 6 afraid of 7? because he raped her

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i know the best knock knock joke! you start! other person: knock knock me: whos there ........

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What is brown and smells bad? A white person that had been bathed in brown paint, and didn't shower for the next month, and rubbed poop all over them, and rubbed diarrhea all over them and rubbed rock poop all over them and rubbed pee all over them, and rubbed mud all over them, and pooped in a bottle.

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What does NASCAR stand for? Non-athletic sport centered around rednecks.

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Why was the girl running out of the school? Because her principal was trying to rape her.

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What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? a pilot.

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Q: What is brown and sticky and often found in the grass? A: A stick.

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Q: why did the white man buy a burge A: cuz he was hungry

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Q: What's worse than a pile of dead babies? A: The live one at the bottom trying to eat his way out. Q: What's worse than that? A: When he comes back for more.

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That awkward moment when a sentence doesn't end the way you think it octopus.

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How do you survive the zombie apocolypse? You avoid dieing or being mutated in the living dead.

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Q: Billy has 47 pieces of cake, he eats 38. What does he have left? A: Diabetes

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Why did the Indian cross the road? Trail of Tears.

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D/M/Y ~~ Take 21/12/2012 Flip it upside down Take the 2's out from both ends (1/12/201) Take out all the ones and two's (//0) Take your zero and turn it 90 degrees to the right Take out the forward slashes What you are left with, a potato.

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Why does it take more than one squirrel to change a light bulb Why? Because they're so darn stupid

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Nero, listen, do not try to imply that you created the Iron man method, that was developed by many people over the duration of many years in the former underground society. You seem far too educated to be the savage you claim to be, if I told you that our people will do the uttermost to see if we can fix that eye of yours and succeed, will you forgive my failure and imperfections as a leader? Look at it this way, I am a leader, not a ruler, what my followers do is up to them, but if they cannot understand that they have to pay the consequences behind their actions, they have no place within the order, as for the expression "my order" it is simply what my many followers like for me to say, not because they are unwilling to take responsibility, but as a token of praise. Our articulations and means of expressing desire and such are very much the same, have you ever been part of our order?

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1. Look at the size of his putter. 2. Oh, dang, my shaft's all bent. 3. You really wacked the hell out of that sucker. 4. After 18 holes I can barely walk. 5. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip. 6. Lift your head and spread your legs. 7. You have a nice stroke, but your follow through leaves a lot to be desired. 8. Just turn your back and drop it. 9. Hold up. I've got to wash my balls. 10. Damn, I missed the hole again.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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