What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? a pilot.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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Guy: I have a gun get in my van Girl: SHOTGUN!

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How does a woman scare a gynecologist? By pulling human entrails out of her purse when he asks her to provide insurance.

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God is real.

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I scream, you scream, we all scream because we're getting murdered.

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Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete fell off. Who was left? Repeat. Yeah.

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Why did the boy throw his alarm clock out of the window? Because he was angry at the alarm going off

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What do you call a panda without a head? Dead.

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Like this if you want people to stop asking to have their jokes liked.

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What is said about the man who is addicted to online gaming? He plays more than 5 hours per day and doesn't have any social contacts or whatsoever.

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a piece of string walks into a bar and the bartender says “sorry we dont serve your kind here” so the string goes outside twists himself round and ruffles up one of his ends then walks back into the bar, the bartender says “aren’t you the piece of string i just kicked out?” the string then replies “i’m a frayed knot”

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Yo momma so fat she has more chins than a Chinese phonebook. Chins in a phonebook? I don't get it.

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What did the guy say to the other guy? Hello.

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How do you starve a black man?.........take away his food!!

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Ask me if i'm a serial killer Are you a serial killer? Yes and I killed your family

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A baby seal walks into a club. He immediately escorted out because babies are not allowed in clubs.

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how many pancakes does it take to build a dog house? none boats don't have wheels.

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What did the bicycle say to the fat kid? Nothing, bikes cant talk.

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Safety in numbers? Try telling that too six million Jews.

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Three guys walk into a bar. Soon after another man tries to walk in, but is stopped by the bouncers because the bar was at capacity.

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What's worse than forgetting to charge your cell phone battery? Getting wrongfully accused and going to jail and get raped by inmates for the rest of your life.

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I was going to write a joke about procrastination, but I haven't gotten to it yet.

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there was once a time before tht time when there wasnt bonerss there were erectionss CC

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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