Why did the fat man cross the road? Because he felt that being overweight, he had to do something about it and go to the gym.

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I saw a shooting star. It shot me.

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What happened when Susie fell off the Ferris Wheel? There was an open seat.

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What is funnier than Miley Cirus getting a Record Album? Justin Bieber's voice.

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I heard a joke one time about a Rabbi, a Priest, and a little boy. It wasn't funny.

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What do you get when you mix a polar bear and a dog? A dead dog.

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How many babies could a cannibal eat? 132/267 of a baby

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A man walks into a bar. Splash.

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Ask me if I care. Do you care? No.

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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?white vans

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*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and act like it's original because I changed one word*

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Why was the Mexican man in the rich man's garden? Because he enjoys flowers.

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woman's rights

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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What do Gary Glitter and Michael Jackson have in common? They are both successful pop stars

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There was once a Polish man who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of him. He decided to do something about it. He sat down to contemplate the situation, and after a few hours, he thought, "I have never seen anyone making fun of Italians. So, if I start talking and behaving like them, no one will be able to make out that I am Polish and make fun of me." He went into isolation for three months and after a lot of practice, he walked confidently into a shop and said, "I am a very hungry. Give me some pepperoni and zucchini." Immediately, the man behind the counter said "Are you Polish?" This guy was taken aback and he repeated his request. The man behind the counter said, "Are you Polish or not?" This man was finally very ashamed and amazed at the shop owner's discerning ability and so he admitted to the fact after which he asked, "But how did you know?" The shopkeeper replied, "My grandmother was Polish. I could tell by your accent."

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what did i do after u pinched me? i killed everyone

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No one knows because humans do not have the capability of accessing the chickens brain to receive their knowledge and what they were thinking about in the past.

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A Man, a chicken and a horse walk in to a bar and sit down at the stools near the jukebox. The jukebox is playing Love Me Tender. The Bartender notices the man pull something from his pocket and hand it to the chicken who takes it in her beak and then turns to the horse and passes it to him. "What'll it be?" says the Bartender. "methamphetamines", says the horse ironically.

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Roeses Are Red Violets Are Blue He's The One For Me And Not For You, And If You Try To Take My Place I Will Take My Fist And Smash Your Face(:

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what did the black women name her child jamaal

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what did the bear say to the fish? Nothing he eat it

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Q: where was Johnny during the bombing? A: everywhere

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what is the difference between lizzy and a momma hippo........ lizzy doesnt bathe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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