How do you keep someone in suspense? Refuse to let them view the resolultion of a gripping film.

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A girl walked into a bar and sat next to a man. She asked what he was drinking. He said something that makes you fly. She didn't believe him. He then went up to the roof, jumped off and walked back in the front door. She got the drink then tried to jump off the roof, and died on impact. The bartender said to the man "You're a real asshole when you're drunk superman."

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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Why did the car break down? Because breakfast was done.

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What grows on trees and is woody? Wood.

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Yo Momma is SO FAT, THAT she has an increased risk of cardiac arrest due to her blood pressure.

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Joey and Jack walked into a bar, and their friend Satan asked if they heard about Jesus, and they said No.

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Whats worst than being raped by a black guy? Being raped by two black guys? You racist i'm calling the police.

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how much fish could a chicken

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Why did Suzy have burns on her face? Because her little brother attacked her with a hot curling iron thinking it was a lightsaber.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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What happened to the dog that ate to much? It became obese.

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Roses are flowers.

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Why could't Jerry go to school on the Wednesday? Because he died on the Monday.

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haiku for you ladies and gents My mother once said, "Slow and steady wins the race" She died in a fire.

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What did the bird say to the other bird? Nothing because birds can't talk.

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Grace Ackerson

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A blonde takes a math test it says find x? She circles x and puts there it is!

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A man walks into a bar. It hurt.

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roses are red violets are blue i fucked your mom so did you

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What did the cannibal eat for Christmas. Your Mom!

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Why were 50 police officers in the supermarket? A tsunami had struck and they were cleaning out hundreds of bodies

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Whats worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Finding out that that apple was the tip of a dick

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What has 2 legs, a heart and a conscience? YER MA

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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