A princess decided to kiss a frog in the hopes that it would turn into a handsome prince, as she found none of her suitors to her taste. The frog was incredibly poisonous and she died of total organ failure three days later.

What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a mustang? I don't have a mustang in my garage..

Why was the baby so hot? Napalm. Why was the baby so cold? Meat locker.

What did Christopher Columbus say to his men before they got on the ship? Get on the ship.

Your momma's so fat she has a hard time finding clothes to fit

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

Two gay guys are cuddling in a park when they spot a hot, busty blonde jogging near them. One turns to the other and says, "Damn... It's days like this I wish I was a lesbian."

Why did Mia fall off of Lucy's bike? Because Lucy didn't like Mia and shot her in the face.

4 gay men walked into a bar. it was a gay bar. all 4 men had a good time

What goes up a hill with four legs and comes down the hill with five? A creepy animal that grows legs when it goes down hills.

What did the duck say to the Pope? Quack.

Donald Trump decided to run for President.

Roses are red the grass is green now open your legs and let me fill you with cream

jeanna:fu** jack:did u just say fu** jeanna:jew? jack:fu** u jew

whats worse then getting a parking ticket? the plague

What did the man screem before he crashed his car? i dont know, he died.

What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? A bike

A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

What's harder to pick up, a football or an anvil? It doesn't matter when you lost your fingers in 'nam.

What's black, white, and red all over? Numerous different objects because many different things can posses a variety of colors, including the ones listed above.

99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer, take one down pass it around, 98 bottles of beer on the wall. 10 minutes into the song one man succumbs to alcohol poisoning.

Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: It doesn't matter what you call him, he isn't going to come.

That`s my friends phone, I can call you from mine too if you want, please just don't hurt me, let me speak to you, I promise I will explain everything.

My mother's star sign was Cancer. Ironic how she died really. She was attacked by a giant crab.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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