How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open it up and stick him in. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Take out the elephant and put in the giraffe.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Whats on my leg? A pimple. What is it doing? Releasing a white/clear puss.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call an office worker with no arms or legs? A paraplegic.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's worse than nailing 10 babies to one tree? nailing 1 baby to ten trees.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the blonde stare at the juice carton? Because a man was pointing a shotgun at her and would kill her if she didn't do it.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's the difference between an apple and a black person? Well theres a huge difference but they both taste good in peanutbutter

thumb_up thumb_down -15

ert

thumb_up thumb_down -15

guy walks into a bar, ouch

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What is invisible and smells like rabbits? Bunny farts.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call a KKK member? ...racist

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Birdie Birdie in the Sky, Left a message in my eye ... So I shot the little bitch

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call a kid with no friends? ....a Sandy Hook survivor

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Whats better then a guard llama two Guard llamas

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why was the little girl crying? Because she was hanging upside down from an oak tree.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call a banana in a blender? A banana in a blender. Duh

thumb_up thumb_down -17

why did tom shut his bedroom door? grandma was fingering herself

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Roses are red Violets are blue You think this will rhyme But it's not gonna

thumb_up thumb_down -17

"Wow, that was so funny i fell off my dinosaur!" Dinosaurs went extinct in the late Cretaceous period, about 65 million years ago. Commonly believed by scientists across the world to have been caused by an ancient meteor that crashed in the current day Yucatán peninsula in Mexico. Also, even if you were around during the Cretaceous period, i assure you that no dinosaur would let you climb on top of it, let alone ride it while you're not highly terrified because of the sheer danger of the experience. Now unless you are 65 million years old, I highly doubt you laughed so hard that you fell off the dinosaur that you supposedly own.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What haircut did Timmy get at the barbershop? He didn't, he saved money from the barber by going through chemo.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q: How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? You don't. You just shut up and listen.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q: Why was the Asian teacher fired from her job? A: Because she always showed to school too late and to make matters worse the school had recently found out that she was a raging alcoholic.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A Priest, a Rabbi and a Shaman walk into a bar. The Bartender looks at them and says "What is this a Joke?"

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops