awkward moment when someone pretends to be Mr. Bear and stuffs up his own joke

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why did the Old Lady cross the road? Because the worm selected her as a weapon

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What did Emmanuel Frimpong say to George Elokobi? you sir, are DENCH

thumb_up thumb_down -32

what happens when a migit and a horse have sex..... probably nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Sir, do you know what time it is? Yes, it is 5:15 PM

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Two penguins, sitting in a bath tub. One says, "Pass the soap!" The other says, "What do you think I am?! A clock?"

thumb_up thumb_down -32

You know that Duck song on youtube? I dont get it... ducks cant talk...

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What is cowboy say

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why did the dog cross the road? Because the pizza man saw how hungry he was and left a pizza for the dog. So when the dog saw the pizza he went to go get the pizza, because he was hungry. In hindsight the moral of the story is: if you ever see a hungry dog on the other side of the road, become a pizza man (if you aren't already) and give him a pizza.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

a blind man walks into a wall

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

what do you call 20 black people under the ocean? a tragic boating accident

thumb_up thumb_down -34

How many times have I said the word shingles? twelve.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

How did freedom die in Europe? It was shot in the chest with a rifle.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What's worse than a real joke on AntiJoke? The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why didn't Sarah come to school today? She had a heart attack and died.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

a teacher walked into a bar and when he walked out he went to his car and proceeded to take notes about the bible, not realising he's supposed to be writing notes from his English book... he's dyslexic and got punched in the eye while he was in the bar; did i mention he doesn't drink?

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm gonna screw you and you don't have a clue !

thumb_up thumb_down -34

There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Vote this up or I'll tell my mum!

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why did the prostitute begin to cry when she saw the chinese patron's penis? His testicles are diced onions.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Whats two plus two Four!

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why are black people afraid of lawn mowers? Because whenever you start it, it says run nigga nigga.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

A man lying in bed at night rolls over and starts rubbing his wife's back. She says, "Not tonight, honey, I have a headache." Her husband respected her wishes and went to sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops