How does Lady Gaga like her meat? Cooked until it reaches an internal temperature of 180 degrees Fahrenheit to lower the risk of contracting diseases such as salmonella.

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Roses are red, Violets are microwaves, I have amnesia, Roses are red.

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What do you call a man whos had his arms ripped off in front of you? An ambulance, because with an injury such as this, you can die anywhere between 10 and 45 minutes

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting your car repossessed.

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Your momma is such a slut, that she has unprotected sexual intercouse several times throughout any given day, with many different men.

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why cant little timmy ski? he was born without legs.

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A train conducter conducts goes at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph. If he goes under 3 bridges and over 6 hills what did the conductors mother eat for dinner that night. Nothing, after many months of suffering she died from Huntington's disease.

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Their was once a man named Bob Clemens who really wanted to have sex with an underage girl. So one day he went on an online chat site to find one. He ran into this young girl and told her all the things he wanted to do to her and she told him that she had never done anything and really wanted to try it. Bob went over to her house one day and she told him to sit down and grab some cookies while she came back. She came back and Bob gave her the roughest pounding that any human being could recieve.

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Why aren't there any black flesh-colored bandages? Good question.

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How many pastry chefs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. It's a fairly simple job.

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Three gay men walk into a bar and there is only one three-legged stool. What do they do? --One man politely tells one of the other men to have a seat and then the two remaining men leave and have a one-night stand.

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Why did the plane crash The pilot, being an uneducated pilot, crashed the plane as he didn't have proper training, and the whole of the passengers died.

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Q: How many dwarfs does it take to change a light bulb? A: 1 or 2. One to change the light bulb and maybe another one to guards the staircase for the safety of the first one when the ceiling is too high (Wich happens almost every time because they are dwarfs.)

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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roses are red tulips are too, violets are violet, not freaking blue.

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A dog says to a horse "Hey, why the long face?" the horse just looks at him.

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Q:Why did the little girl jump in the pool and drown? A:because she didn't know how to swim

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Why do you call a person who spits in your cheeseburger? A mean person

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What does an elephant and a grape have in common? One of them is purple.

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whats worse then getting sat on by a hippo getting sat on by Matt Ross

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My friend on xbox told me about this cool clan. I went to join but I didn't like to wear the white robes

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Starting a Genocide #YOLO

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A man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The barman says no.

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how do you make a baby cry? you throw a brick at it's face!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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