What is a dyslexic mathematician's favourite song? Angels. [L]

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I believe if Floyd Mayweather fought Muhammad Ali I believe it would be a close fight but Floyd would win. Because Ali has Parkinson's

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I knew a little girl once. She was ate before she was seven.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse being a horse and doesnt understand english is confused and scared by its surroundings it gallops away knocking over a few tables.

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Two ladies are walking down a road. One says, "It's freezing out here!" and then the other woman, who is a scientist, says "No it's not freezing. The freezing point of oxygen is -365.82 degrees F. So, unless it is actually that temperature outdoors, I highly doubt that it is freezing outside."

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Patient: "Doctor, my arm hurts when I poke it with my index finger." Doctor: "That's because your finger is broken."

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Roses are car Violets are giraffe this poem makes no sense microwave

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What's funny? Nick Sotelo

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Why didn't the girl paint her nails white? Because in this society, that would be considered racist.

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took my chevy to the levy but the levy was dry

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Paper or plastic? Yes...

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what's funny about cancer. nothing it is a serious life threating disease with no cure.

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What did the penguin say to the other penguin? Nothing, penguins don't talk.

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Knock, Knock. Who's There? Its Greg. I forgot my keys, can you let me back in?

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What do you a call a black man in a two piece suit? A respectable citizen, racial profiling is ignorant.

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Yo momma so ugly, she couldn't fulfill her dream of being a model.

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what did the doctor say to the wery fat man? you have diabetes

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I have a toaster. I have two subway coupons and a handful of pubic hair equal trade baby

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Remember how I made you hypnotically cum by poking your own nose last time? When I told you that hypnotic story about the astrologer and the brain surgeon? So you wet yet? Think about how easy its going to be for me when I take out Mr.Big and slap down your coffee table with it, yeah... Feels cozy down there does it not?

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Why are fish so easy to weigh? Because usually they've been killed, stunned or sedated first.

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what do you get when you cross a broken arm and a broken leg? .... a broken head.

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RIDE A PONY, RIDE A PONY

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What did the facial stylist charge Jack Sparrow to get his ears pierced? A buc-an-ear!

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Why did the little girl walk into the wall? Because she was blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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