Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Whos there Not Susie What did Susie get for Christmas? I don't know , she never opened it. Who high fived Susie? No one Why did Susie die? She got shot in the face

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A man walks into a bar. He then walks out of the bar a while after. He then goes home and goes to bed. And then he goes to sleep. And then in an odd time travel paradox,a T-Rex arrives from the past and kills him and his entire family.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

I can prove I'm a psychic - this post is going to receive a lot of dislikes.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what's the difference between a jew and a pizza? a jew is a member of a religion called Judaism, they're generally tall and have curly hair, however not in all situations is this true. They celebrate Chanukah and passover and many other holidays. Pizza is an italian dish, it's round, has red sauce and cheese on it and is pretty tasty.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

how many dead babies can fit in a microwave? 3 1/2

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are wilting violets are wilting YOU HAD ONE JOB

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's hard when you eat a vegetable? The wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

::ring::ring::ring:: Hello? Is your refrigerator running? Yes, yes it does! Why? I work for a local home appliance superstore and we are having a special on repairs and maintenance. Would you like to try our home appliance maintenance offer? I'm sorry no! I do not actually have a refrigerator. I only have a cooler. Bye! ::the man shuts off his cell phone and sets it on top of his styro-foam cooler as he mumbles to himself alone while on his boat, "Darn advertisement offers!" and continues to fish in the middle of the lake::

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Now this bible thing, is a real anti joke so get ready to have your faith tested, and overcome it: There was that story where God charged against an army at the top of some mountains, the army is told to have been led with God personally at the front rank right? But they lost because the enemy had horse wagons (you know what I mean) made of steel or iron, (does not matter what it is if you ask yourself really) I mean even if it was Metatron, he would have had uh... Wings or something to even the odds, Maybe God is like Raiden from Mortal Kombat, he needs to become a Mortal in order to enter fights on earth... MORTAL KOMBAAAT! I mean God made humans humans made Sin (gotta say we get the blame for a lot of shit others did, I hate apples and cant even stand the smell of them for once, never ate one)

thumb_up thumb_down -15

.why did 6 hate 7 and 8? because they were blocking her from 9!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

So let's pretend two men that had been friends for a very long time, one man asks the other man how he is, so the man tells the other man how he is doing. Then that man asks the other man how he is doing. The two men were engaged in a very interesting conversation. What did the men do next? Nothing. We're pretending, remember?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What happened when the blind man reached for his soda? He picked it up, took a sip, and placed it back down where it was and continued with what he was doing.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did Osama bin Laden say to Jesus? Nothing. He's in hell.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What is an offensive term to refer to black people who lived in the time of the Flintstones? n*ggers

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the prizon cell mate get for christmas. Herpes!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Knock Knock. To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

If your reading this you will realize that this sentence means nothing and I have just taken 5 seconds of your life that you'll never get back.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

You're a fat chubby McChubchub fatty fatchub because your fat chubby McChubchubfattychub poop is on your fatty fat Mcphat face of fatchubness because you are the fatty lord of McChubby fat kings.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

My grandma's star sign was cancer, and it was really ironic how she died, actually... She was attacked by a giant crab.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do a black man and a dog have in common? They're both going to die some day.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

I swear to god it wasnt me Dont swear to go its a sin !

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? Because he's dead!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Imagine that we take all of the elephants in the world and laid them out end to end in space Did you know all of the elephants would die Nature fact

thumb_up thumb_down -15

why did the little boy cross the road? because he had been raped.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops