A man walks into an exam room for a doctor's appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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How many babies can you fit in a blender? None, the blender is too small. Also it is illegal to kill a baby infant because they are considered human. You can get life in prison or the death penalty for committing such a heinous crime.

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I told my friend one of these anti-jokes, he took it seriously and beat my head with a bat.

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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Neo Nero, why did you not tell me that Nero7 is dead? When was the funeral held? Where is he buried? At point Zero? Please I need to know, he was basically my father, or rather all that my father never was, at least I dont have to wonder if he will ever come back... I understand your anger, even if I am not even close to following your extreme ideals, please tell me the code, the proof that you are not one of the Spetznas or the Nazi`s. "Eliza"

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In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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What's a good joke? France going to war and winning.

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Do you know how I know you're gay? 'Cuz your dick taste like shit.

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what do you get when you cross ruddell with a chicken? still a prick

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I was lying in bed looking at the stars in the sky What did i think to myself? Were the heck is the ceiling???

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Your under arrest for drug trafficking and possession of illegal firearms. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say...

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Why did the boy wear a winter jacket on the hottest day of the year? Because the boy was in antarctica and the hottest day was still below freezing.

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What do you hear when the world trade center collapsed?, no seriously I wasn't even three yet.

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What do you get when you cross a squirrel and a horse? Each animal has a different number of genetic faults therefore such a process would be impossible.

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why did the chicken cross the road it didn't it got hit y a car

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Knock Knock [Opens Door]

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An ant tries to climb and sit on a tube. It couldn't. Do you get it? … I don't either.

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Why was timmy live on the streets? His parents didnt have the money to abort him!! HaHa

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How did Ronald McDonald die He was hit by a big mac

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A bloke runs into the bank, says to the girl "Stick 'em up!" She says "Righty-o, matey" and sellotapes his bollocks to the ceiling.

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what did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware river? Get in the boat.

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what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

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A: How can you tell a tree is an aspen? B: 'Cause of the way it is.

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How do you kill Justin Beiber? By stabbing him 38 times in the chest.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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