How did poor Miss Suzy get her poor little baby to stop crying? She cut off its head, burned its body, and sacrificed its ashes in a bizarre Satanic ritual that involved having sex with a heifer. (Miss Suzy was a Satanist priestess.)

thumb_up thumb_down -22

In the North people say "once upon a time." What do people in the South say? "Y'all never gonna believe dis shit!"

thumb_up thumb_down -22

why dose micheal jackson like 29 year olds Because there is 20 of them

thumb_up thumb_down -22

NO! I'm putting it in my front room, you sick bastard!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

The verification for this post was debatable: "Which of these does not belong?" George Bush Barack Obama Bill Clinton Ronald Reagan Head of Cabbage Answers on a postcard please... [L]

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Where do you guys find all these jokes? Your mom's Vagina

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are the same.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Hey, I just met you And this is scabies So I'm prescribing you some permethrin.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

why did the chicken cross the road? because the 99p mcdonalds mayo chicken was popular in the coop.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Optimus Prime: "GIVE ME YOUR FACE!" Shockwave: "Illogical. I have no face." Optimus Prime: "Then GIVE ME YOUR EYE!" *RIPP*

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Roses are bald Violets are bald You are bald I think you have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What is green and red and is going super fast? A frog in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Yo momma so fat, when she steps on the scales it reads 90kg

thumb_up thumb_down -22

knock knock whos there? steve oh hi steve please come in

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the piece of gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chicken's foot.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Your momma is so fat, her doctor recommended exercising more and eating healthier.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What happened when the black man and the white woman mated? Nothing. The man was infertile.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

hes climbing in your window, hes snatching your people up. Hes a fireman.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A religion is like a penis. They are both nouns.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

children are much like potatoes. when you eat them, they die.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's black and shouldn't have the right to vote? Ants

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Two bees are flying around a flower. "Hey," says one bee, "you ever think about the meaning of all of this? I mean, isn't there more to life than pollinating and satisfying the Queen?" The other bee replies, "No."

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What is funnier than 24 69

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops