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Mum did you make my milkshake? No, I didn't son, but your father did. Fther's dead. I know.

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what is your moms favorite website? Wait did I say mom. Oh I'm not very sorry.

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Why did the man fall over...he had a stroke!

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Why did the lebanese man kill his own family? He had cancer.

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what comes in a can ? Beans Where do beans come from ? Cans

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What do you call someone who has slept for 48 hours straight? Dead.

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An Asian man walks into a bar and ask the Barman for a beer, the Barman is racist and therefore tells the Asian man to leave his pub. The man goes home and drowns his children in the bath and pushes his wife down the stairs, he is found out by the police and is given a life sentence in jail. 5 years later the Barman kills someone in a bar fight and is also sent to jail for life. The Barman meats the Asian man in prison and they settle there differences with a handshake. Two days later the Barman was stabbed in the neck.

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Why did the Smartie get fired from the M&M factory? For throwing out all the W&Ws

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hey I just met you and this is crazy but get in my van

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roses are red violets are blue i am retarded i like pancakes

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Why was six afraid of seven? Back when seven was in Vietnam, he sufferd Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and constantly has flash backs and irrational thoughts of six being with the veitnamese alliance and tries to viciously molest six whenever he runs out of anxiety medication.

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Why did 5 members of the Al-Qaeda walk into the bank? To make 5 seperate cash withdrawals

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What did the cow say to the dog? Moo

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Im a Tree... BARK BARK!!!

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How can you tell the difference between Brooke Colbert or any other girl Jesse has been with? It's easy, Brooke the only one Jesses ever been with. They even share the same bra size.

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What did the girl without arms get for her birthday? A pair of gloves.

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On Friday the 13th,My cat turned into a dog.

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What's better than sex? I have never had sex and, therefor, do not have adequate knowledge of the experience enough to make a comparison to other experiences. You should ask someone who has had sex.

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A Black Guy, A Rabbi, And A Mexican walk into a bar, the bartender looks up and says "Get Outta Here We're Closed!"

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What did Jim do after the police gave him a ticket? He followed them home and used their children's limbs to rape them.

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Oracle horacle, you big bloated boracle!

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Q: Why did the 10 year old squirt his dad with the water hose? A: What to year old WOULDN'T?

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What did the bartender say when the black man walked into the bar? Hello, what would you like to drink?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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