How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

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What did the farmer say to the duck? I don't know, but the duck doesn't give a f.....

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1+2 = 6

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How many blondes can you fit in a car? About 5 if you lift the arm rest.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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Why did Jimmy not go to school? Because Jimmy, along with his family, were killed in a horrible house fire. Knock Knock? Who's there? Not Jimmy...

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What did the boy with AIDS, polio, one eye and one arm get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What's the difference between Obama and a monkey? They are two different species, so thus they are very different.

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What do you call a black man that works in a church A priest

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how many weasels does it take to change a lightbulb 0 weasels are animals and therefore are not capable of changing lightbulbs

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Stevie Wonders said to his friend, "Have you seen my house?" "No" "Neither have I"

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So this squirrel is walking across the road when a HUGE truck comes and smashes him beneath the tire.

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Sex

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What do you call a baby with no arms or legs? You call a lawyer, and be sure to have him ask the mother if she took Thalidomide during pregnancy.

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rose's are red violets are blue I have touretts blblblblblblblblbbl

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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A couple elopes in Vegas. The next morning while eating breakfast the woman tells her husband she thinks it was a mistake, using her alcoholism as an excuse for her inability to make practical decisions. The man proceeded to cry and called his attorney to arrangea proper divorce.

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My girlfriend said she doesn't like anti jokes and now i'm single ha ha just kidding.... she's dead

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Why did Sally fall off the tree? Because Sally weighed 500 lbs and it was a bamboo tree.

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A man walks in to a bar, remembering he was actually going to the hardware store, he heads out and leave.

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How do you make 5 lbs of fat look good? Draw a smiley face on it.

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A lion and a cheetah raced each other and the cheetah won Lion: "man you're a cheetah!" Cheetah: "no you're lion!" Then the cheetah tears off the lions head and feeds it to their babies

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Q: What did hitler say to his generals? a: In a circumstance as the one we have found ourselves in. Eliminating our most threatening of enemies would be very logical. Unless they were of the superior race therefore, it may be frowned apon by our low ranked comrades. Causing another assasionation attempt on myself. So in conclusion I believe eliminating a rich and intelligent race far more superior than our own, would be the best way to go. So collect the Jews of Warsaw and we might have a chance.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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