Q.A duck walks into a bar and asks for grapes.What is the duck asking for? A. Nothing... Ducks can't talk

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Q: You know what's really funny? A: A good joke.

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What is white, black and blue all over? A zebra that was assaulted by Chuck Norris.

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EVERYONE TEXT 513-550-3742 AND ASK HIM WHY HE HAS GOOP IN HIS PANTS. his names eric

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What's white, wet, and loved by women? A polar bear cub.

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why was the man denied his teaching job? because he is a wanted cerial killer in 43 states.

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I took my sick iguana to the Vet. He said why did you bring him to me, a former soldier?

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Two men enter a room. Two men and a baby leave the room...

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What do you call Chuck Norris being killed? This is impossible so we are not give it a name.

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Two elephants were in a bathtub. One elephant asks the other "pass the soap?" The other elephant passes him the soap and they continue with their bath.

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What did the mouse say to the elephant that sat on him? Nothing, he died on impact.

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Why did the chicken go to KFC? Because it was suicidal.

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steve walked into a bar, what happened next? A: He fell down.

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Whats the difference between a man and a cat. There both different species.

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What is the similarity between an elephant and a grape? Absolutely nothing. One is an animal, while the other is a fruit.

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roses are gray, violets are grayer, f*ck this poem and listen to the slayer.

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how do you get a cat out of a tree? shoot it

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Why did the young boy fail his math test? Because he had down syndrome.

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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Awesome! I've just received my giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy had stage 4 skin cancer.

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dont be afraid of lard squeezing cause really its just me teasing

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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How do black people vote? They go to their polling place, register, then vote for their candidate on election day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops