lewis=cardiac

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If Steve has 5 apples and gives Jenny 2, it is obvious they aren't eating oranges.

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three mexicans walk into a bar... the bartender says get the fuck out!

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Why did the grandma stop baking cookies? Because she is an aging widow suffering from depression because her family seems to forget her existance as she barely lives day by day wilting in her 1 bedroom home.

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Why can cats jump so high? Cats leg muscles are different then ours. They work kind of like springs that build up energy and then release suddenly. Its kind of like a budgie cord. This gives them the ability to jump so high. If humans were built the same way, they could easily jump up on a one-story roof.

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Your feet are so big your gonna need bigger shoes.

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How do you torture a turtle? If you came up with an answer to that question you are completely and utterly unethical and immoral.

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Ten years ago we had Steve Jobs, Bob Hope and Johnny Cash ... now we have no Jobs, no Hope and no Cash.

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Why did a black man put his hands on a white man? They were hugging.

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What do you get when you cross a chicken and a dinosaur? You can't. Dinosaurs are extinct.

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Why did the dog have no legs? Because its previous owner had cut them off.

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girl. have you seen my duck man. yes he is with me right now girl rely you have him man. yes in my diner girl. d.i.c.k. man.f u

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What do you call 1 black guy and 9 other white guys? Patrick Mills

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Person A: I think your father might be a thief, I'm not sure though. Person B: How come? person A: I cannot find my virginity. Person B: I apologize my dad taught me well.

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i bought a sock i wore it i bought a fish i killed it i bought a human i ate it IM A CANNIBAL

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Whats better than throwing a baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitchfork. Whats better than catching a baby with a pitchfork? Eating it afterwords.

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What's worst than the holocaust? Coming home and having your parents say " we received an email from your teacher today"

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Why did the elephant paint his toenails orange? Because he wanted to hide in the pumpkin patch

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Why did the Chef go to jail? He killed his wife.

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What do you get when you cross an owl, with a bungee cord?..... My ass.

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Man#1: Who's John? Man#2: John is John. Who else do you want him to be? Why do you ask stupid questions? Are you naturally this dumb? Do you like the questions I ask? Man#1: (Turns away as he is deeply offended by the man who rudely answered his question.)

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Whats brown a sticky, shit

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Your momma is so short, she needed my help to reach something off the top shelf.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was a turkey, idiot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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