They say duck tape can fix every thing, Not my grandma's cancer for that matter.

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How do you wake up Lady GaGa you set her alarm clock to a reasonable time

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the fridge door and place the elephant inside. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the fridge door, remove the elephant, and place the giraffe inside. There is a party at the zoo. All of the zoo animals attend, except one. Which one? The giraffe, because he is in the fridge.

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The FCC

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-How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? -Probably a decent amount.

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I read a haiku. It was honestly quite good. That's basically it.

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Last Christmas I gave you my heart. I am still waiting for a transplant.....

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a pub. They order drinks, then leave without speaking to each other. It was pure coincidence they walked into the bar at the same time. They had no connections to each other, them being from three different countries.

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Q) What is black, white, and red all over? A) A zebra that just became the kill of a hungry carnivore

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What did the prizon cell mate get for christmas. Herpes!

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I took my father out last night. We went to the Olive Garden.

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Your mom is so fat, she had a heart attack and died. It was very sad and she will be missed.

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Knock Knock Whos there? You You Who? Who You Oh im Jim.

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There's a 4 door kayak going down the street and it loses a wing. How many doughnuts fit in a dog house? And remember its not yellow, because snakes don't have armpits.

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What is an offensive term to refer to black people who lived in the time of the Flintstones? n*ggers

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your mom is so fat that she had to start going to a gym to exercise and get her weight under control.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? Because he's dead!

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What did the little boy with a terminal illness get for Christmas? A gun

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why not?

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Myth: Everyone but redheads has a soul. Fact: No one has a soul.

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A man walks into a bar. The other patrons suddenly start to run away screaming, because he had just been hit by a bus.

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Simon says, "I'll give you a five second head start before I mow you down with my AK47."

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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