roses are red violets are blue pornhub is down ya mums facebook will do

Two men are making sandwiches, one man is spreading peanut butter over the bread and the other man is spreading honey and Italian raspberry jam over rye bread. the man with the peanut butter sandwich looks over and says "HEY, where did you get the rye bread?" and the man with the rye bread says "well my wife made it yesterday and I would be delighted if you come over for some tea, and tried some of my wife's homemade rye bread".

Why did the hobo get hit by a bus? He wanted to kill himself.

tell ur mom i love her before i die this would have been a better ending to the tintanic

How can you tell I'm the biggest idiot in the room? Look at me.

A priest and a small child enter a bar. The bartender takes his son back from the priest, paying him $30 for his exemplary babysitting services.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Where it had just witnessed a horrific car accident involving it's spouse, who died on impact. Eventually the chicken fell into a deep depression, taking it out on his children in the form of physical abuse. Over time, the chicken ended up being alone, having no contact with his kids, having no friends, and living in a massive house with no one else. One day, he had a stroke, and no one called an ambulance because no one knew.

What do you call a black man that is on fire? A Man on Fire. The fact that he is black has no relevance in this situation.

Call me Ishmael. Or don't. Well, you can, but I'm not forcing you. You could call me Steve or Bob, it's not really that important. I'm just around here anyway to tell about a huge white dick. A whale dick. A SPERM whale dick. Never mind. Or the guy whose obsessed with it. No, it's not what it sounds like. He just wants to stab it with his harpoon. Wait, that sounds even worse. Whatever. Anyway, call me Ishmael...

Whats black and can run fast? a panther.... racist

Roses are red Violets are blue Start running Cuz ima F*** you Runn Forest Runn! Jubie

Why did andy fall down Because his friend pushed him over

What do you say to seduce a woman? Is that a mustache? WTF!

What do the Chinese call "Ping Pong"? Ping Pong

Did you know? that if you were to stretch out all your organs to see how far theyd stretch? youd die.

Christanity One Womans Excuse of Not Having an Affair Got Totaly Out of Hand

Where's my tractor?

What's worse than seeing Helen Keller behind the wheel of a car? Being run over by Helen Keller.

There is a law in california that says that women are not allowed to drive with house coats.

What do you call a chicken with the head of a shark? A genetic anomaly.

where did little Suzie go after the bomb went off? Everywhere.

What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

Your mumma's so ugly. Period.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


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