Why didn't Sarah come to school today? She had a heart attack and died.

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roses are red and violets are blue so is your mums fanny

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Why did little Katie fall off her bike? Because the postman killed the bee hive.

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What did the computer say to his girlfriend? I'm going to RAM you tonight.

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Beethoven! It is true? Did you really lose your hearing? Yes.

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Facilitator huh? Sounds like someone that kills someone standing in the way, or bribes off others.

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What do you call someone who has slept for 48 hours straight? Dead.

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How did the fat guy survive the air crash? He was he was astronomically and improbably lucky.

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Yo mama so fat she at the rest of this joke.

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Your mama's so stupid she brought syrup to the quidditch world cup because she knew there would be quaffles!

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There's a football player who walks into a bar and sees a gay guy. The gay guy says, "So you're a football player, right?" The football player says, "Yes." The gay guy says, "I have a game of football myself. It's called fart football. It's where you drink a mug of beer in less than five seconds and then you drop your pants and fart for the extra point." The gay guy goes first. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds and farts. The football player goes. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds then he drops his pants and before he farts, the gay guy says, "BLOCK THAT KICK! BLOCK THAT KICK!"

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A child walks into a bar. He finds to find his dad passed out in his vomit, the bartender realizes the dad left the kid in the car, and he is arrested. The kid grows up traumatized by the experience, and becomes a substance abuser just like his dad.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is an Italian food that is an American favorite, and the other is a follower of Judaism.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, this is stupid, Violets are purple Violets are purple Oranges are orange Nothin' rhymes with orange wait.... DOORHINGE!!!!! -sincerely, That famous Orange on YouTube

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want to get screwed for four years? VOTE REFUGLYCAN!

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Why is mario red? His mother beat him as a child.

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children are much like potatoes. when you eat them, they die.

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? No? Well he graduated in four years with a degree in chemical engineering. He worked hard all four years in order to keep his scholarship to the university. Now he leads a very successful life and lives in a large house with his wife and two children.

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Chuck Norris got his ass kicked. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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Why did the babysitter only get paid 50 cents for a whole day. Because he was a 6 foot mexican.

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Q: What's the best way to satisfy your hunger A: Eat

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What are the similarities between aaron ash and a cow? they both have 7 stomachs.

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What's the deal with airline food? Food tastes different on an airplane. The atmosphere dries out your nose, the air pressure numbs 1/3 of your taste buds, and low humidity levels give you cotton mouth. These factors cause the food to taste worse than it normally would.

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what's worse than stubbing your toe? a hospital fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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