Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A horse walks into a butcher shop and asks for two apple pies. The butcher says "sorry, but we don't have apple pies. It's a butcher shop." And the horse says "nevermind, I came here on my bike."

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was deaf, dumb, and mentally retarded; you sexist fiend.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

whats the diffrences between black people and a tire nothin

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock knock, COME IN!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A Palestinian woman asks a man for directions. She is promptly stoned to death.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did Jimy fell down the stairs, because he was adopted.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: What's brown and sticky? A: Feces

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why couldn't the girl find a date to the prom? Because she was really, really ugly.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Big feet on a man means he has, Nothing, a man's foot size has no relation to the size of his penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What has 17 eyes, 43 toes, 11 feet and, 9 heads? A 17 eyed- 43 toed- 11 footed- 9 headed monster.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the physicist say when he got his penis stuck in a test tube? Ah jeesh! I got my penis stuck in a test tube.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red, Violets are blue, In Soviet Russia, Poem writes you.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

If these walls could talk - the public would pay large sums of money to see this marvel of science. On a more serious note, they might also tell the cops about the many dead hookers stowed within them.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Don't you just hate it when somebody is saying something interesting and they don't finish their sentence?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why are black people afraid of tigers? Because tigers eat people

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a rapist

thumb_up thumb_down +2

five gay guys stand in a line is it a straight line

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why cant Helen Keller drive a bus? Cuz she's dead!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock, Knock. Who's there? It's me, Jeremy. Oh, great to see you! Come inside. They then have a great time watching TV and eating snacks

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the boy lose his change? He had no Pants Why did the boy have no pants? The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Women.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops