What do a tree and I have in common? We would both be mad if we got turned into paper.

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He orders a beer. After a while, the bartender comes over to him and asks if he would like another beer. He says no and leaves.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Across the street was a strip mall containing a dry cleaners where he had to pick up his suit for his cousins wedding. The wedding caused controversy in the family considering she was jewish. He had a lot to drink and took a cab home, knowing the dangers of drunk driving in todays society. He had a great time.

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''Hey, this is absolutely true. There's an organization now called 'Draft Dick Cheney for President, 2012.' Yeah. Good luck with that. They tried to draft Dick Cheney five times during Vietnam. That didn't work.

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How many blonds does it take to screw in a light bulb? ... It shouldn't take anymore than one person to do this job, regardless of there hair color.

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Why couldn't John ride a bicycle? Because he is a fish.

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What's the hardest part of the pizza to eat? The motorbike.

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What was the black kid carrying when he was running down your street? His television set

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Why can't you lie to atoms? Because they make up everything!

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whats the difference between a black baby and a white baby? thier skin tone.

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What happened when the boy fell off of the bridge? He died

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So I was making love to my cat the other day, and my pet dog comes in.

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A bomb went off in japan where did sally go Everywhere

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dylan wishes he could come up with funny jokes. but that is impossible for a man trying to bat with a .5inch ****

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Why did Hitler kill six million Jews? Why not? --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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Roses are red violets are blue ice-cream is yummy can I eat you

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What has two legs, but can't walk? Half a dog.

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What's better than your first Hanukkah? Not being a Jew.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Why did Mary fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there. Not Mary!!

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How do you get a fat man to go outside? Blow up his house

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What did the heroin addict get for Christmas? Aids from a used needle.

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What was the last thing that went through the WTC jumper's head? His ankles.

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What's red, white and not blue. A Canadian flag

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops