- Anti Joke

Son: Mommy, Mommy can i have a cookie! Mom:Sure Honey there on the top shelf Son:But mommy i have no arms Mom:No arms, No cookies

Just gonna stand there and watch me roar. But that's alright because I am a dinosaur.

What's long, hard, and in my pants? The SAT's... I lied about it being in my pants.

whats worse than a baby in a dumpster? A baby in ten dumpsters.

Why couldn't the black man swim? He has no legs.

Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

Q. Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 10 years? A. Michael Jackson

Roses are red, but there are also pink, white and yellow varieties Violets aren't blue, they're violet, hence the name I've got OCD And my poetry skills are also lacking.

What happened to the black guy who got pulled over by the cops? He was told that his left tail light was out

What did the runner say after he ran 10 miles? I just ran 10 miles.

se* is like math add the couple minus the clothes add the cream and just hope they dont multiply

What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? A dead baby in 10 trash cans.

Q: what does a worm and a fish have in common? A: they are both a worm, apart from the fish

what do you when a black guy gives you a muffin. you eat it because he was your waiter.

Q: Why did sally fall off the swing? A: Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally! How did Sally die? She couldn't figure out how to open the fridge

A man found a magic lamp. He rubbed it and a genie emerged from the lamp. The genie asked what his new master's wishes were. The man wished for asthma.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Why did the baby die? Because I refused to feed it.

Whats worse than hard cheese?Cheese DUH

Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree? No.

How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

one man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. when he was drinking the beer he choked and died

What do Barney and a butchers knife have in common? One of them is purple