- Anti Joke

A woman is walking down the street. A midget approaches her and with his keen sense of smell, informs the tall woman of her delicious scent and says, "Ma'am your hair smells lovely, may I please take a closer sniff?" Then woman obliges and the midget is arrested for alleged rape, or as he put it, trying to sniff her vagina.

Q: Why did Timmy cry? A: You would too if you had your arm cut off

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

if you have two gay people, would their kid be gay too? oh wait....

A woman tells her boyfriend that shes going shopping. Later that day the boyfriend sees her in an alley giving a blow job to a stranger so he says "What are you doing here?"

Jackass! I was one of the central leaders of the fucking "old" underworld network, while you just scraped together whoever was left when the shit hit the ceiling and called it all yours! And stop trying to flatter yourself, your methods are an insult to everyone that knows what methods you are using, and probably every fucking else, charm is one thing, acting like a total queerfag is another. Lets see what the money you claim I will be receiving will do for me, as your goddamn "experts" "followers" are the ones that sliced my fucking eyeball almost in half, and if you had no idea, eyes are pretty much like fucking raw egg inside, so its not much to do about it. Listen, I know your fucking "order", its not Scientology, and its not FUCKING NERONISM! IF YOU ARE GOING TO CALL IT FOR WHAT IT IS YOU DO THAT! MY NAME IS NERO, ITS NOT AN ALIAS, ITS NOT A NICKNAME NOR SOME FUCKING "CYBER IDENTITY" So you better make sure that money arrives soon enough, or I will reveal the name of your "order", the locations and whatever members I know to the public, and you know I do not fucking mean those worthless queers you sent or did not send to harass me. And you know I do not mean here on fucking horsehead network, Ill start a fucking torrent on the piratebay, and share every fucking secret left, and you can bet there will be nowhere for your "high and mighty" ass to hide. Listen, My name is Nero, your name is "Axel Knight" (Or so you claim, if I where you, I would be hiding in shame too!) SO HOW THE HELL DOES IT MAKE ANY SENSE THAT YOUR "ORDER" IS SUPPOSEDLY CALLED THE ORDER OF NERO?

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He didn't, he died in the middle of this task.

What's more greasy than grease? Kevin's hair

What did the woman say to the black man in bed Good morning honey

Horse Head Huffer Network DIY LOLANTI-PICKUP LINEPOINTLESS INVENTIONSSPOILED PHOTOSYO DAWG PICSETHUGTXT CHECK OUT OUR IPHONE APP! TwitterRssPOPULAR NEWEST RANDOM WRITE YOUR OWN! Anti Joke logo Write Your Own It's easy to take part, just type your text below! Your Answer Solve Media New PuzzleSwitch to audio puzzleMore Information... I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service Anti Joke What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline. Our Updated iOS App! We’ve just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn’t make the original cut (like comments) but they’ll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here. The Anti Joke Book NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we’ve resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book! MOAR?? Want more? You might be interested in… Anti-Joke Chicken Anti-Joke Triceratops Download Our Free App! Hay guise, our iPhone app was just approved! available on the app store! Pictures From Our Other Sites Asked-you-not-to-do-chores-since-it-s-your-bday-complained-how-lazy-you-are-they-day-after-a31a09 SCUMBAG STEVE Awwbaby SHIT BRIX Haahhhah PORN SFW Meanwhile-in-the-midlands-ff3b8f MEANWHILE IN Derp DIY FAIL 6187 CAN'T BE UNSEEN Quotes From Other Sites “Girl: I was just wondering... Boy: Smell my armpits on July 24th, 2016!.” via: Anti-Pickup Line “Perodua Kelisa 1.0 GXi "This is without doubt the worst car, not just in its category but in the world. It has a top speed....” via: Clarksonisms “Prius.” via: Pointless Inventions “The ability to taste only from your butt-hole..” via: Pointless Super Powers “Help my dogs eat their dinner....I think the whole time, "If they only had thumbs"......” via: Things You Think Only You Do “Your mamma's so fat she has been called morbitally obese.” via: ethugtxt available on the app store! Anti JokeAnti-Pickup LineClarksonismsethugtxtThings You Think Only You Do Feedback :: Advertising Inquiries :: Copyright :: Privacy :: Terms of Service ©2008-2014 Anti Joke. All rights reserved. A Horse Head Huffer Production. Horse Head Huffer Rails Hosting provided by BlueBox

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

Your mother is so fat.

Ducks smell too dog like animal farms riverside Chinese tofu hat hairy and eat beanie.

What do you get when you cross a Mexican and an African? A baby.

2 squirrels with 2 massive boners and 1 little boner.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, ask the chicken.

Q. A couple went on a boat. The boat sank. Every single person died, who survied? A. The couple.

Why did Samuel drive his car into a tree? Because the tree was being a total jerk, blocking the road.

"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Fairy floss" "Fairy floss who?" "I'm sugar coating your Cancer diagnoses"

What is the difference between a group of magicians and a cheerleading squad? One has a cunning array of stunts.

what did the chocolate bar say to the ice cream cone? nothing: chocolate bars can't talk

Q: why do orphans always go hard? A: because the can never go home.

What did Susie do when the music was too loud Nothing

Mom, how do you make babies? When a daddy and mommy love each other very much... They play with trains and tunnels!(Yay!)

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops