Q:Whats yellow and on the floor in the bathroom? A: A Rubber Ducky

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Q. What do you call a dog thats deaf? A. A horribly abused domesticated animal that needs a kinder owner.

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what is black and blue and hates sex? the ten year old in my trunk.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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What does the homosexual arab who plays football who has a best friend called Dave enjoy doing? Playing football.

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What is the difference between a black man dead in the middle of the road... and a deer dead in the middle of the road? One is a human and one is an animal

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Why couldn't the morbidly obese man get on a cruise ship? He didn't have a ticket.

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Q: What do you call a pair of dead babies lying on the ground? A: Slippers

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Roses are red. Violets are grey. People hate me. Mongoose.

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Why was the man afraid of the fish? He had ichthyophobia.

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your mamas so fat she tried to hang herself but the rope broke.

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you know whats not funny white boards.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

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Q.what do you call a dead baby? A. a dead baby

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Q: What's black, white, and red all over? A: A horribly maimed zebra.

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Did you hear about the guy who lost his whole left side??? Yeah he's all right now!!!

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Whats the opposite of purple? Your adopted

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Q: What did one muffin say to another? A: Nothing. Muffins don't talk, you idiot.

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A man walks into a bar. I don't remember the rest, but your mother's a whore.

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Why was the little girl crying? She got raped by a giant scorpion.

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Why did the mushroom go to the party? Cause he was invited.

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A chicken crossed the road. It was run over before reaching the other side. by fast asleep

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops