What do you call an Englishman, an Irishman and a Chineseman playing football? 3 friends playing their favourite sport.

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Whats the best way to tell if your wife has been cheating on you with the UPS guy? simply ask her, trust and communication in relationships are vital in their survival and growth.

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Man: Am i going to be alright? Doctor: No, you're going to die.

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Why wouldnt you want to hit a black man that is on a bike with your car? It mite be your bike

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Sharing means caring, Caring is socialism

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer caught it.

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Your mother is so ugly it affects her self esteem.

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Why did the cow fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second cow fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first cow.

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Committing Suicide #YOLO

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Knock Knock Who's there? Can you sign for this package? Certainly

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Nock Nock Whose there? Your mom. Stop locking your door.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? A Holocaust survivor. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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Why did the women leave the kitchen? Because the The husband told her to...

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What do you call a mormon in a red jumpsuit covered in black spots? Proper terminology for this scenario has not been yet made

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How are leprechauns and lions similar? The both start with L.

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whats a parkour kid? someone who jumps off things and is a pre-teen with adhd

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What day is it today? Today. Thank you. You're welcome.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a registered sex offender.

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What did Christopher Columbus say to his men before they got on the ship? Get on the ship.

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What looks good hanging from trees? Spanish moss.

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Black people being friendly.

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Why was the Irish Cop happy to see the Mexican family killed in a accident? Because the Lopez family were a family known for generosity and selflessness. It came as no surprise to anyone who knew Steven Lopez and his beloved family that they were all organ donors and not only that but Shelly Lopez, Steven's oldest daughter had blood type O negative (the universal donor). Officer McO'Brianiganly's wife is dying in the hospital in need of a kidney transplant, doctors have given her just weeks to live. Now, thanks to unfortunate events for la familia Lopez., Officer McO'Brianiganly and his wife can live a long happy life together, just as they always imagined.

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Q: John gets attacked with a chainsaw, how many stitches does he get? A: None, Hes dead jim

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For every person with a broken heart, there is another person out there with a stapler <3 And that person really needs to staple their math papers together so they can turn them in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops