-Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? -She had no arms. -Knock, knock. Who's there? -Not Sally.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I got a brother. He's bigger then you.

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"To tea to to to" -- russian tourist, asking for two tea to room 22. (DOKA)

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What do you call a girl who denies that she is one? Justin Beiber

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What's worse than walking into your parents room while their have sex? Getting no-scoped by zzirgrizz

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Half empty = half full Therefore Half (empty) = half (full) empty= full Half empty

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Why did the little girl pull her hair out? She didn't, It's a side-effect of the chemotherapy.

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How do you kill a blond? Shoot her in the face.

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When you try to go to anti-joke.com but get redirected to Horsehead Network...

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How do you drown a blonde. I recommend that you do not drown a blonde because it is a felony. You could face 30-35 years in prison.

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How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to drop it and die of gas poisoning.

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What do you call a German who roasts Jews for a living? A comedian.

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E M I L Y L Y N C H B I L L I E J E A N L A R K I N YEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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I found a lump on my right testicle. So, as a precaution I went to my local hospital to have myself checked out. Thankfully, it wasn't accute testicular cancer. Instead I only had to suffer for a few months, but it's getting better now. Sadly, I won't be able to have children and now my semen has a somewhat unsavoury flavour. Thanks for asking.

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Q: Why couldn't the man lick his ice cream? A: Because his body shut down due to the fact that a bullet went straight through his brain. This happened before he could even order his ice cream.

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Adam Chebali is awesome

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your mom is so nasty that when she took a shower and acquired general etiquette, she became possibly more respectable

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? ruh-ruh-blah-blah-bluh

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yo mamma's so retarded that shes a potato

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A guy is taking a pee in the ocean and a fish swims up and drinks the pee. The fish says "thanks for the lemonade."

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because dinosaurs died out 65.5 million years ago.

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A Mexican, a Jew, and a Colored guy walk into a bar, the bartender looks up and says: "What can I get you gentlemen today?"

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? Because he has no arms.

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What do a worm and a human have in common? They both have arms and legs apart from the worm

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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