Why was the boy seeing stars? It was night time.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He never did because he's in KFC

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-Knock, knock. -Is it the pizza man? -No. -Then go away.

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot.

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What do a helicopter and a banana have in common? They are both edible. Except for the helicopter.

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Roses are read violets are blue i ate a fetus now you die to

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What do you call a german soldier? A Nazi

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Daughter: Dad I have some news for you Dad: What is it? Daughter: I am pregnant Dad: ... I am so happy I am going to have a grandson, my 27 year old daughter just married and now pregnant, this is a great day!

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Technically rainbows are white.....and have gold at the end.

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Flowers are colors Love me

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What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Stop fucking around I told you I was coming. I'm sorry. Come in.

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What's blue and smells like sky? Sky

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So a man walks into a bar. Unfortunately, he had brittle bone disease, cracked open his skull and bled to death on the pavement.

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What's white and black and red all over A nun with a spear throug her head

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Scream went into the bar. The bartender says," Why the long face?" "..." *facepalm*

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Why did the bald man go to hospital? Because we was getting chemotherapy

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Roses are red violets are blue monkeys like you belong in the zoo but don't be afraid I'll be there to that in the cage but laughing at you

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What's more fucked up that the Bill Cosby rape accusations? Sam and Adele's shower time on a Wednesday night

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Roses are red, violets are blue, shit is brown and so are you

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Why did the man wear a mask He had low self-esteem, and was ashamed of his facial appearance

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What's the difference between a horse and a chicken? They're different species and also the chicken is female, while the horse I was referring to is male.

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A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.?

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Your mom is so poor She will soon have to make the difficult decision whether or not to put you up for adoption

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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