Why is the turkey always full? Because he is stuffed.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the man die? because he hit his head and drowned

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why couldn't little Billy fall asleep. Because Billy didn't have any counting skills to be able to coins sheep

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How did the carpenter do on his exam? Poorly so his parents killed him.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

I HATE GEORGE LOPEZ

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the black man have no toes? Because during his climb of Everest, he got frostbite and they had to be amputated.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What is Obamas favorite book? I don't know, ask him.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are red Violets are blue You think this will rhyme But it's not gonna

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: What did Peter say after a long day of work when he got home? A: Nothing, in fact he has job, home, family, or anyone to help him. His leg is pinned down by a large piece of metal that fell on him while looking for food to eat at a construction site, expect him to die of bleeding in the next 24 hours.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the blonde fall down the stairs? Somebody tripped her.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

okay so three men are in a plane ( this is the type of plane you can open the windows) so the stewardess goes up to the first man he asks for a gun she agrees but hes gotta throw it out the window he confused but he does it anyways the stewardess goes to the second man he asks for a beer she agrees but he has to throw it out the window hes confused but he does it anyways the stewardess walks up the the third man he asks for a pack of C4 she agrees but hes gotta throw it out the window without hesitation he gets it and throws it out the window. so they land and the first man sees a women crieing i was walking down the street and got hit in the head by a gun and arested for being armed the second man sees a hobo cheering loudly hes says he was sleeping in the ally and it started raining budlight the third man shes a women hysterically laughing she says i was going to work and spilled my coffe then my house blew up!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

mirror mirror on the wall who has the most desire of them all? Matt Daly!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the pear say to the apple? Fred, you delusions are getting worse and i'm getting a divorce.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, "whered you get the pig?" The guy says, "It's not a pig its a parrot." The bartender says, "i was talking to the parrot."

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why does my friend pick up trash? Because he is a garbageman

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A. Where was Sally during the boston marathon bombing? Q. Everywhere. www.facebook.com/wowedgy

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Two cows are sitting in a bathtub. One cow says please pass the soap. The other cow says nothing, cause it's a cow, making it incapable if speech. The other cow was just a guy in a cow costume.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you get when you cross a leopard and Chuck Norris? I don't know. Probably something like a furry yellow Chuck Norris with black spots and sharp teeth.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the shrimp refuse to share? Because he was a little shellfish.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

who has a vagina, likes men , soundslike afive year old girl, has some sweet boobies and onlyhas one hair on his little vag? Robert sweeny

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's the difference between a hipster and a steaming pile of shit? Many things.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what did the one girl say to the other girl? i like your shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the African get for dinner? Ebola Rice

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How can you tell a baby lost it's voice? It doesn't scream when you staple it to a ceiling fan and turn it on.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops