How do you wake up your grandmother........ You don't, she had a massive heart attack and died in her sleep

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Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A: You murder her friends and family.

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How many Jews can you fit in to a car? Well depending on the car 2-8

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A man walks into a bar. Sup.

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Why did the drunk driver get into an accident? It was a woman.

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-I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service

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Three men walk into a bar, one ducks and two fall down. What happened? They walked into a metal bar, like a sideways flagpole!

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why could the black person jump higher than the white person. because the white person had no legs

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What did the black boy get for Christmas? Black people don't celebrate Christmas.

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Why do women have boobs? In order to feed their infants

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Why did the chicken cross the road Because early that morning she had found out that her husband had left her for another chicken. She became depressed and soon was suicidal so she started looking for an option out of her pain. So she tried to cross the road... She never made it.

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Roses are chickens violets are pizza this poem makes no sense, Refridgerator

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Take wrong turns

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PICKLES

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Girl 1- why was 6 afraid of 7? dog- ..................................(doesn't say anything because dogs can't ruff)

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What do you call a man with no arms and half an eye? Larry -Jack Sparrow

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There is no "i" in "team," but there are two in "indigo."

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So, two black guys walk into a bar... And they pay their tab and couldn't have been more courteous

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Micheal Jackson walks into a bar

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Q: How do you shoot blue flames from your hands? A: You start to duck and lean forward quickly before you fully reach to duck as you punch as hard as you can, a blue flame should come out as Japanese bullshit automatically spews out of your mouth. It should not take more than a try or two...

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Why did the blonde stare at the juice carton? Because a man was pointing a shotgun at her and would kill her if she didn't do it.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Why don't nuns wear bras? Because god supports everything!

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Why didn't the mexican have a job? because he was working on his masters degree

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops