Who let the dogs out? The dog's owner.

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Gerald: Hey did you know I was named AFTER Abraham Lincoln? Gloria: Because he was born in the 1800's and you were born and named many years afterward? Gerald: Ah... I guess I emphasized that joke a little to much - I'm sorry this conversation happened

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numbers just make the funniest antijokes

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What's taters, precious? The potato is a starchy, tuberous crop from the perennial Solanum tuberosum of the Solanaceae family.

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Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles their balls.

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A man walks into a bar. He's just entered into the Twilight Zone.

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Knock knock Who's there? The Land Lord The Land Lord who? I am here to evict you.

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? AHHHH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?!?!? MY HAND!!! MY HAND!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! JUST KILL ME!!! PLEASE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?! MY OTHER HAND AHHHH!!! HAHAAAAAAAAAaaaa..... AHHHHHHH WHY?!?! MY LEG!!!! MY FOOT NO!!!!! PLEASE!!!!! Ah AH AHHHHH!

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a tomato.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a gun, get in the van.

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joe paterno doesn't walk into a police station

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"Knock Knock" "Who's There" "It's Dallas" "Dallas Who" James and Dallas's relashonship quickly deteriorated as Dallas realized he and James been best friends for 2 years and James doesn't even know his name.

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Mike: Johnny pass me the sauce Johnny: I can't pass you the sauce Mike: Johnny pass me the sauce Johnny: I can't pass you the sauce Johnny could pass Mike the sauce as he has no arms and Mike kept on asking as he has short onset alzheimer's.

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Hey babe, did it hurt when the doctor cut off your umbilical cord when your mother gave birth to you. Because I have a bellybutton too!

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Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? They're really good at it

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream cone? Because she had no arms. Knock, Knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

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I don't have friends, so I'm anti-social.

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the NAACP

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What's the worst thing that can go wrong while trying to archieve something you desperately want? -Everything.

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What does these 3 words all have in common? terrifiant, hrollvekjandi, Przera?aj?ce They all mean the same thing describing Ian! CREEPY

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What is computers and smells like thin and fragile? dyslexic nipples.

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What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

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What do you call a blonde who can't read? an infant

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Why was the little boy afraid of the dentist because he was a pedophile

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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