why did the cow say baaaaa ? it was a stupid cow

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a fat kid walked up to me today at school and claimed he could do more pull ups than i. i found this very funny because i have known this boy since i was two months old, and he witnessed the day where i lost both of my arms to cancer.

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what do you call a clown in makeup? a clown, clowns are supposed to wear makeup.

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What did the elephant say to the other elephant? Nothing. -Albert Einstein... LOL JOKES my name is PJ.

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A baby seal walks into a club. :|

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Yo mamma's so stupid she failed the SAT.

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Why did the boy live on the street? He was an orphan.

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Why don't flowers bite you when you pick them? Cuz they don't have a brain.

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What happend to the murderer who ate people? He was sent to jail for a number of years and now is having work done to stop him from eating people

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a bmw? I don't have a bmw in my garage.

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I walk into Tesco and wrestle an obese women for a packet of ''Mini's Biscuits''. This quarrel was over nothing but a trolley filled with them. I gradually became infuriated. Meanwhile, an employee commited suicide.

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roses are red violets are red i smell my wife nows shes dead

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What's 1+1? 69.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy became cold easily.

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The joke below me was written by someone who was mauled by a panther and raped by a tribe.

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Who is buried in Grant's Tomb? DeShawn

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Q: What did little Jimmy get his grandfather for Christmas? A: Nothing his grandfather died on Thanksgiving

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Three men walked into a bar. The last one ducked.

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Knock Knock. Not home.

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How did the dinosaur come out of the water? Wet.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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A black man "walks into" a club. Several minutes later he is dead. The police, in a later press conference, refuse to admit that the club ever left the officer's belt.

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What happened when the princess kissed a frog. Warts, all over her lips

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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