Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? Anonymous. Anonymous who? Exactly.

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Why did Obama cross the road? Oh, wait, he didn't make it.

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what is sticky and brown a black guys stick

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Roses are Red. Violets are blue. I took a shit on your wife's face last night.

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An optimistic person says the glass is half full Pessimistic people say the glass is half empty Engineers say the glass is 2 times the size it needs to be.

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what do u call a guy with 4 nipples? Hairy Styles

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What happens if you jump on barbed wire, but break your fall? You hurt your arm as well.

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There are two jews in an oven. One says "It sure is hot in here" and the other says "AHH A TALKING JEW"

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What did the mother say to her color blind son when he was about to take his first car ride alone after he got his license? Good luck

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What are the biggest ants in the world? Ants under a magnifying glass.

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knock knock? whos there? danielle danielle who? danielle the liar...hehe

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Whats funnier than a massacre? Everything.

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Whats worse than forgetting your first homework assignment of the new school year? Being hazed on the first day of school to the point where you seriously consider suicide

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A man walks outside and sits down to eat his sandwich.

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A little boy walks into a bar its fine, he's over 21, he just looks younger.

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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There was a Jewish man and a German man why was it akward? Because one of them farted

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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What did the Mexican say to the Pirate? Can I have a pound for my bus, pal?

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Why did the door close on little Timmy? He was getting gang raped.

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Your mama's so fat, that it's ruined her self-esteem.

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What did the old Hispanic man say to the young black woman in the Laundromat? I don't know cause I goofed in school and didn't pay attention in spanish class.

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I've got some good news an some bad news. The good new is that you just won 10 million dollars! The bad news is I'm just kidding.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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