So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Bacon makes everything delicious, yes? And coffee makes everything exciting, yes? Put the two together and you get a caffeinated porky roller coaster in your mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why wouldn't anyone want Helen Kellers dog? It's been buried for a long time...

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A man walks into a bar. Oh, wait, no. It was a horse. So... A man walks into a horse

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What doesn't kill you leaves you in a coma.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Me: Ask me if i'm a truck. You: Are you a truck? Me: No.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why was the little girl crying. Her dad wiped his bloody penis with her teddybear.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How do you name a beast who eat rocks and fly. rock-eater flying beast

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q: Why did the dog bark? A: it cant talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

800 people died last year. end of story

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he's human.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did Timmy miss school? He was killed in a tragic school bus accident

thumb_up thumb_down +29

knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

thumb_up thumb_down +29

knock, knock who's there you yoohoo i don't like chocolate milk!

thumb_up thumb_down +29

why did the kid struggle in school? because hes mentally retarted

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he is concerned about his fitness and decided to walk to work instead of drive.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

whats the best part about ebola? nothing ebola is a dangerous virus

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A muslim walks out of a plane.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why can't Benitio Mussolini win the war? Becuase he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Roses are blue Violets are too I've got Alzheimer Roses are red

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Two cats are sat on a window ledge. One cat looks to the other and says "Meoww".

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Whats blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops