Two guys walk into a bar, have a good time, and exit the bar, relatively sober. They are driven home by a friend who agreed to be the designated drive for safety purposes and enjoy the rest of the evening with their wives, to whom they are happily married. Then the joke ends abruptly.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it felt like it.

Why are black people so good at basketball? they can SHOOT, STEAL and RUN.

what's gray, red, and goes over a 100 mph? a toad in a blender

Q: Why'd the guy have to fart? A: There was a buildup of methane gas in his colon.

What did Ann Frank say when she dropped her icecream Nothing because she was captured by Natzis

What happened to George's pet rock? It ran away.

Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

What do baseball and The Holocaust have in common? They're both sports, except for the The Holocaust.

Q-What's the good thing about dating a girl volleyball player? A- She's a Girl

What is worst than a black guy hanging on a tree. A burnt black guy hanging on a tree

what did the woman say? 'duhhh, i don't have a penis durr durr' (By the way, I'm trying to be not misogynistic, please let me know if you find this misogynistic in any way)

What did the black man say to the white man when the white man was drunk and naked on the roof dancing? Quit fucking around Brad and get off my roof or I'm calling the police because this is the third time this month.

What did the tractor say when he lost his farmer? wheres my farmer?

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, That's what they tell me because I'm blind.

An optimistic person says the glass is half full Pessimistic people say the glass is half empty Engineers say the glass is 2 times the size it needs to be.

Why did Obama cross the road? Oh, wait, he didn't make it.

What did the T-Rex say to the chicken? Nothing. First of all because the Tyrannousaurus Rex has been extinct for over 65 million years and secondly because Tyrannousaurus Rex's and chickens are both animals of lower intelligence so they cannot talk to one another.

There is a black guy a white guy and a Mexican, whose driving. The other black guy.

A black man and a muslim enter a bar. The Black man pulls out a gun in an attempt to commit a robbery, however the muslim opened his jacket, screamed "Allah Akkbar" and blew himself up. Everyone died.

what is sticky and brown a black guys stick

what did Stan say to Dave? nothing, Dave died 500 years before Stan was born, thus he said nothing.

Yo momma's so fat she weighs more than the average woman of her age and height

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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