Three men walk into a bar. One of them is not planning to consume alcohol because they are responsible and he is the designated driver.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did Billy say to Timmy? Timmy! I'm so sorry. *Sniffles* I didn't mean to throw the fork that hard. Rest in peace Timmy...

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Just friends, they too pretend to be you and copy the way you write and express yourself, I told them to stop though, Azure threatened someone here a cultist of sorts I think, that does not exactly put us in a better light with the people that where getting our messages, and yes they are coded, I sincerely had no idea though,

thumb_up thumb_down -19

If you make an anti joke out of an existing anti joke, does it become a new anti joke? Yes. No.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the pig cross the road? To chase after his adopted chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

whats up with that? i'm from jersy

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what is the difference between oral and anal? anal makes your day and anal makes your whole weak

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's sad about a truck passing behind a duck? A: Behind the Duck were the Ducklings.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

how old is god? i don't know thats why i'm asking you. by: Brennan pickrell

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a man with a spade in his head? ...An innocent, family orientated murder victim.  X

thumb_up thumb_down -19

That made no sense... Did you just call me sugartits Nero? Dont you have a wife?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What is purple and rhymes with apple? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A: What do you call a female bombing the white house? Q: A terrorist

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why couldn't Jimmy eat his food? Because I threw a microwave at him

thumb_up thumb_down -19

2 guys are in a bar joking and having a good time. One guy looks to the other and says, "So...HOWS your wife?" The man replies "...She died in a horrible car accident." The man's friend then says "...I am sorry to hear that.." "Yeah I know I wish that God damn rat wasn't in the road goddamn fucker"

thumb_up thumb_down -19

a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are stranded at sea,the brunette swims 1 quarter of the way to shore, gets tired and drowns.The redhead swims 3 quarters of the way to shore, gets tired and drowns. The blonde swims half the way to shore, gets tired and swims back.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How do you stop a bus? throw a boy with an ice cream cone infront of the bus. but...come to think of it, that may not work. he might drop the ice cream on top of it >:l

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Knock, knock ... ... ... Well I guess no one is home.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Relizing its a used tampon covered with blood.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why could susan not get up? Because her limbs were hacked off by a African militia group.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

So, I walk into a bar and say "Why do you call this place a bar, I don't see any bars in here!" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did a black man put his hands on a white man? They were hugging.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Billy was taking a stroll in the forest, when suddenly he met a bear. Billy remember what his father had taught him, and quikly lied down on the ground, pretending to be dead. The bear started licking Billy's face. Still he remained calm. The bear bit off Billys finger. Still he did not move. When the bear ate Billy's foot, he nearly panicked. But thinking of his wife and children he mustered his last remaining strenght, and did not move a muscle. If he tried to run or fight the bear he would surely die and never see them again. Then the bear ate Billys head.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How many babies can you fit in a blender? None, the blender is too small. Also it is illegal to kill a baby infant because they are considered human. You can get life in prison or the death penalty for committing such a heinous crime.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops