Why doesn't Harry have any arms? Because he's a Jew.

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Whats the difference between a Philadelphia Flyers fan and a pedophile? What they are.

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A Quadriplegic walks into a bar.

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Why did the black guy not tip his pizza driver? Because he didn't order pizza.

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Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius!

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Yo momma so old that she should be concerned about mesothelioma and asbestoses, as she may have lived during a period of increased asbestos use. She may also be at risk of osteoporosis and should take vitamin supplements daily to improve her rapidly deteriorating health.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree??? Because it was dead.....

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catastrophic anthropogenic global warming

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Roses are red, and violets are freakin violet. Not blue.

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a lazy boy sleeps 23/24 hours. what does he do in the remaining hour ? he takes a nap

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Where did the girl go when a bomb was dropped on her? Everywhere

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Her doctor told her that if she didn't start watching her cholesterol she might suffer from heart related illness in the near future.

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What's worse than having you're leg fall asleep? Getting Polio

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I drove my Chevy to the levy. It was dry.

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What happens when you mix bleach and ammonia? You eventually die of respiratory failure from inhaling chlorine gas and possibly an exploding toilet.

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yo mama is so dumb, she got all Fs on her report

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Knock knock. Who's there? Fire extinguisher. Fire extinguisher who? POMEGRANITES.

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The Oakland Raiders

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Knock knock Whose there? Nobody Nobody who? ......................................

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

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Why'd the bird in Ohio fall out of its nest? There was a squirrel that was eaten by a large eagle. The eagle then flew to Ohio and died. Then, a large dog grabbed the Eagles corpse and brought it to his owner. The owner then decided to have it for dinner. Inside the eagle, he found the squirrels bones. He put the bones in a catapult, and sent them flying. The bones hit a car and the car slipped off the road and into a river. Then, a whale put the car on its back and swam to the shore. At the shore, the whale got stranded and sadly died. Crabs surrounded the whale and ate it. One crab then ran away and up a tree. It found a stapler and a rubber dinosaur mask and gave it to a chipmunk. The chipmunk climbed up the tree, stapled nuts into the birds eyes and stapled the rubber dinosaur mask to its face, the bird got scared, and then all of the sudden the chipmunk stapled itself to the birds back. The birds family then came and shoved the two out of the tree because they hated chipmunks, and their son Timmy the bird was a disappointment. The bird and the chipmunk fell and died. That is why the bird fell.

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Theres this black guy who goes to a gun shop and buys a .45 and then goes to get a permit and uses it responsibly....

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Whats old and has been alone for years. Your dead nan

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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