Why did my car stop suddenly? I had arrived at my appropriate destination.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

"Why is Barney purple and green?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way"

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What is worse than getting a cold ? Finding a dead baby in your mailbox

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A. Big feet, you know what that means B. He has to order his shoes on line because they don't carry his size in stores.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did Emily fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Emily.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What part of a vegetable are you not supposed to eat? His wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Yo' momma is so old she should probably go to the doctor and check her health so she can live a longer, more healthy life.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

thumb_up thumb_down +24

roses are red violets are blue sunflowers are yellow I bet you were expecting something romantic but this is just gardening facts

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why was the strict Asian father angry when his son got an A- on his test? He found out that his son had been cheating.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side -Tag

thumb_up thumb_down +24

roses are red violets are blue some poems are good and some don't

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Knock Knock Who did that?

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How do you kill a black man wearing a bullet proof turbin? Shoot him anywere other then his turbin.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What sound does a dead cat make? Nothing, it's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the boy fall off the bike? Because he was a paraplegic.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

whats the best part about ebola? nothing ebola is a dangerous virus

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he wanted to impress his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

jack and jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water. jack fell down and broke his ankle and neck severely. jack and jill were taken away from their parents by child services, and their parents are charged for child endangerment and child labor.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

There was a boy named Steven, a son of a rich business man. Steven was an interesting child though, as he always kept care to one of his possessions. That possession being a plain, old, brown box. On Steven's fourth birthday his father said he could have anything in the world he wanted, just name it. Steven said he wanted two quarters to put in his box. The father agreed and gave his son two quarters to put in his box. Every year the father would say he could have anything he wished for, and Steven just asked for two quarters. Nothing more. On Steven's 18th birthday he got into a severe car crash. The father stood over the hospital bed where Steven lay. "I can get you the best doctors in the world. They can save you, please let me get you this for your birthday!" The boy shook his head. "All I want is two quarters" Steven replied. The father was distraught. "Son, tell me why you've wanted these two quarters every year you have been alive instead of anything else in the world". The boy complied. "Fine I'll tell you." Then Steven died before he could tell the father. The End.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Two black guys walk into a bar the bartender says get out

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Kid: "Tell me about when you were young, Grandpa." Grandpa: "Oh, sonny, those were crazy times. My friends and I were out of control. We used to give each other wet-willies and funny arm. We'd play dandy-balls and legs-a-spread and penis-butt." Kid: "Sounds kind of gay, Grandpa. " Grandpa: "It was gay. Everyone was. But, back then, we were called pole-fancies. It was real, good old-fashioned "grab the nearest tree and hold on for dear life" gay, not today's fancy, featherbed, thread-count gay. People got hurt back then! Kid "That's gay." Grandpa: "Yeah, it was pretty gay "

thumb_up thumb_down +22

I know how to make a brilliant telescope out of an empty jar, some leather, a string and a brilliant telescope.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops