How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

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What did the bad boy get for Christmas? Incurable cancer.

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HOW TO RE-AD : FOR DUMMIES. (HELLEN KELLER ADDITION)

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are pink Daisys are white

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple

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what do you call a Nice Nazi A Nazi... He's still a Nazi.

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Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

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How do you get your sister to stop wearing your underwear? Throw up on her.

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SUCK MY NUTS

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Who enslaves small people and forces them to work in his factory all year round in ridiculous outfits. Santa

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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What's the difference between a melon? One of its halves are both the same.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding worms in your stool.

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Why does the Batman theme song have 'na na na na na na na na' in it so many times? I guess Batman really likes sodium. Or maybe his record player's broken.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he got shot in the face. Why couldn't the boy get back on the swing? He had no arms. Why didnt his mum come and save him? She is blind, deaf and in a wheelchair.

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Violence is never the answer, its the question... The answer is YES!

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A man walks into a bar a browning automatic rifle, it accidentally fires hitting the main artery in his neck and he promptly bleeds to death.

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How many bears does it take to screw in a light bulb? None; it’s a fairly menial task requiring little more than a single human hand. Requisitioning any number of bears for the effort would be an extremely dangerous “Rube Goldberg”-esque solution to simple problem.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

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What starts with f and ends in uck? Firetruck.

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How do you stop a little boy from annoying you? You chop his balls of. Why was the little boy sad? Because someone chopped his balls off.

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What do you call two black men riding on a tandem bicycle? Best friends.

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Why couldn't the color blind orphan find his apple? Because he was also blind.

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Why do alcoholics use brown bags? Because they are ashamed of what they have become and seek to repress their guilt by entering into denial.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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